Rewind - September 6, 2011 (conclusion)

In continuation of my previous post regarding Tuesday, September 6, 2011:

As I said previously, by the time we got to the restaurant to meet the birthparents for the first time, I seriously was a total nervous wreck.  My stomach was in knots and I truly did feel as though I wanted to throw up. 

I was super excited to meet them and I knew what I was hoping for as far as what kind of relationship I wanted with them now and in the future.  I wanted to have a great relationship with them in which we could feel comfortable with each other and keep in touch over the years.  I wanted us to be family, an extended family of sorts.  I want Matai to know his birth family and have a good relationship with them.  I want him to know where he comes from and to know his heritage and be proud of it. 

My biggest fear was that they wouldn't like us.  I was scared to death of saying or doing something totally stupid and having the birth parents change their minds and decide not to place their baby with us afterall.  Don't get me wrong, I had felt very comfortable in what we were doing and had felt very good and at peace, for the most part.  But there were still times, such as this one, that the clouds of doubt would creep in and I would start to worry and feel some anxiety that this adoption situation would suddenly fall apart, just as all of the other previous ones had.....even though this one had felt different from the very beginning.  I had begun to feel pretty strongly that this little boy was apparently supposed to be a part of our family, for whatever reason, but I still worried that things had gone way too smoothly and wonderfully up to that point.  In my head, there was still a part of me that was waiting for it to all fall apart again and it terrified me and broke my heart to even think about it.

Anyway, Matt and I were still several minutes early arriving at Golden Corral so we sat in the car and waited.  Matt kind of wanted to go ahead and go in and wait for them, but I was worried my legs wouldn't work and my stomach was so tied up in knots.  I convinced him to stay in the car and wait.  A part of me wanted to see them first before they saw us.  However, Maki got there first and stood outside the restaurant waiting for everyone.  We had asked Maki to join us so that we could meet her and she could act as a translator in case we had a lanuage barrier and were unable to communicate very well in English.  When we had tried talking to them previously on the phone a few weeks before, we had a difficult time.....but it's also different on the phone as well.

After Maki got there, we then got out of the car and joined her.  We stood talking with her for a few minutes before Danalyn (birthmother) and Jorno (birthfather) got there.  Shortly after that, they drove up in a white Ford Expedition.  As they were walking up to us, I remember commenting to Maki and Matt on how cute they were.  Danalyn is actually a little shorter than me and Jorno is about the same height as Matt......with the typical black hair and beautiful dark skin as those who come from the islands.  They are such a cute, sweet couple! 

We all greeted one another and went inside the restaurant.  Matt and I paid for everyone's dinner.  We got our table, filled our plates with food, and sat and talked while we ate.  I will admit that it was a little awkward that first time meeting.  Maki did translate some, but we mostly talked directly to Danalyn & Jorno in English.  Jorno seemed to understand a little more than Danalyn did at the time.....and to be a little less shy.  It was fun to meet them and begin to get to know them a little, but it was also hard in some ways as well.  We were a little uncertain about the language barrier or their customs, so we were careful to be respectful.  However, we also tried really hard to just be ourselves as well. 

Danalyn wasn't very talkative.  She would answer questions in very short answers when asked a question, but she didn't really ask us very many questions at all.  Neither did Jorno.  Maki did a good deal of talking with all of us as well.  The dinner went well, but I was still a little uncertain of how they felt about us and how well it had gone from their end by the time we left the restaurant.  All I could do was pray that it had gone well from their perspective as well.  We were at the restaurant all of about an hour before we all left.  For those who know me, you know that I'm a very affectionate, hugging person.  As we were leaving, I made sure I initiated hugs with both Danalyn and Jorno in an effort to show them who I am as a person and how much I appreciated them for what they were doing for us.  I wanted them to know how much they mean to us and how much we love them, even if we really didn't know them yet.  It was obviously not something they are used to, but they both accepted the hugs and hugged us back. 

Here is what I posted on Facebook at 6:17 p.m. that night as we were leaving Golden Corral:  Dinner went well. Birthparents are great people!....shy & quieter...but really sweet. Baby is going to be gorgeous! Danalyn is my height...maybe even a little shorter (LOL)...& Jorno is close to Matt in height. They are a very cute couple!

A little while later, Matt and I began texting Maki.  I can't remember if we initiated it or if she did, but she became our texting buddy after that and was able to give us the 'inside scoop' on what Danalyn and Jorno thought.  It was quite helpful.  LOL 

To this day, we still keep in touch with Maki through texts.  She's awesome and we love her to pieces!  :)

Here's what I posted at 8:13 p.m.:  Apparently, the birthparents really liked us and were quite touched by some of the things that we said at dinner. :)

Whie at dinner, Matt and I made a point to tell Danalyn & Jorno how much we loved them and appreciated their sacrifice they were making....and how much they were blessing our family.  We told them about some of our struggles and what we had gone through over the years in trying to adopt.  (At one point, there were even tears shed as we shared.)  We made a special point to share with them how important it is to us that Matai know his birth family and where he came from.  We told them that it's important for us to keep in touch with them throughout the years, if they are comfortable with it, which they also expressed an interest in. 

Also, before we left the restaurant, we made arrangements to meet Danalyn & Jorno the next afternoon for Danalyn's appointment. 

We went to bed that night more excited than ever for Matai to be born....and we were praying that it would be the next day!

Rewind - Tuesday, September 6, 2011

Tuesday, September 6, 2011 - 

We pretty much spent that day relaxing a bit and getting oriented to being in Arkansas.....and recuperating from the trip out there.  Here is what I posted on Facebook that day:

At 10:42 a.m.:  Enjoying relaxing today in Arkansas & hanging out w/Lacey. Hoping to meet w/our birthparents sometime today. :)

At 12:58 p.m.:  I am in LOVE w/some of the houses out here in Arkansas. GORGEOUS....not cookie cutter...w/big, spacious yards!

Years ago, when I was still living in South Carolina before I moved out to Utah, I met Rich Fordham shortly after he moved up from Florida for a few months and we ended up becoming the best of friends.  He supported me and encouraged me in my decision to move to Utah, and I supported him and encouraged him in his decision to make some good life changes and go on a mission.  After he moved back down to Florida to get ready to go on his mission we continued to keep in touch by phone every week and he called me as soon as he got his mission call to the South Salt Lake Mission in Utah.  I was able to go down to Florida for a few days to be there for his farewell before he left on his mission.  About a month before he went into the MTC, I moved out to Salt Lake City myself and I was able to go to the MTC and be there when he entered.  Throughout the course of the 2 years that he was on his mission, I wrote him every week and we continued to remain close friends.  During all of this time, I had gotten to know his family and fell in love with them as well.  The Fordham's are an AMAZING family and I've always felt very blessed to know them and call them my friends. 

When I made the decision to go through the Temple for the first time and receive my own endowments, I decided to drive back to South Carolina and share the experience with my family and close friends at the time in the Atlanta Temple.  Two of my very best friends, Christy (Miles) Castillo and Nichole Martin, made the drive with me so that they could be there and see their families as well since they are both from South Carolina as well and had also moved out to Utah.  In the course of that drive back to South Carolina, we stopped in Tennessee for a short stop so that I could visit with the Fordham's and see them again since they had moved there from Florida after Rich had left for his mission. 

Lacey (Fordham) Schofield, Rich's only sister, was going to BYU down in Provo during the time that Rich was on his mission, so there were a couple of times that I was able to see her as well.

Shortly after Rich came home from his mission, I was able to fly out to Tennessee and be there for his homecoming and spend another few days with him and his family.  Rich then made the decision to move back out to Utah and we were able to spend some more time together during that time.  Then he met Summer, his wife of 10.5 years now, and they were married a short time later in the Mount Timpanogos Temple.....and, again, I was there for the wedding dinner, the sealing in the Temple, and the reception afterwards. 

Then life happened and Rich and I lost touch for a few years.....but never really forgot each other....until the first year that Matt and I were married and we were watching the 10:00 News one night before going to bed.  Suddenly, I saw Rich's face on the TV and realized that he had been in a terrible accident that had almost killed him while working for the Utah Highway Patrol.  I called the hospital the next day and talked to his Mom, who had flown back out to be there with him.  Matt and I were able to go up to the hospital later that night and see Rich for a very short time, which he doesn't remember now because he was in so much pain and so drugged up at the time. 

Again, we lost touch until Summer and I found each other on Facebook and started to get to know each other and become friends for awhile.  Then, a year ago this past May, Matt and I took care of their 3 gorgeous kiddos for a week while Rich and Summer went on vacation to Europe with Rich's family.  Since that time, we have kept in touch on a very regular basis and our families like to spend as much time together as we can.  Rich is still one of my very best friends in the whole world after all these years, and I've been so happy to have the chance to finally get to know Summer and the kids and become so close to them as well.  We love their family so much!

Anyway, the reason that I'm taking the time to mention all of this is for a purpose.  It is to preface and lead up to this:

It just so happens that shortly after Matt and I found out that Matai was going to be born in Springdale, Arkansas......Lacey, Rich's sister, contacted me on Facebook and let me know that that was only about 30 minutes away from where she lives in Centerton, Arkansas.  Let me just say here that I don't know ANYONE in Arkansas and I can honestly say that I've never had any desire whatsoever to go to Arkansas for a visit either before now.  So I really don't think that the location of where Matai's birthparents lives and where he was going to be born.....and the location of where Lacey just happened to live in Arkansas.....was a coincidence.  

Lacey and Marshal will never truly know just how much it meant to Matt and I to allow us to crash at their house and invade their space and their sweet little family for so long while we were in Arkansas.  They were FANTASTIC!!  It was fun to play with their 3 little girls and baby Carter, who is only a month older than Matai.  Their family saved us so much money and were truly an answer to many prayers.  They allowed us to feel as much 'at home' as one can feel when they are totally out of their comfort zone and staying in totally unfamiliar waters.  Thanks so much to the Schofield family for helping us out when we needed it most!!  You are THE BEST and we love you!  :)

Also, during this time, Rich and Summer and their 3 kids were watching our dogs during most of the time that we were gone after DeAnna took them down to them in Spanish Fork when she could no longer take care of them....and because we were gone SO LONG!  Thanks so much to BOTH DeAnna and to the Fordhams for helping with the dogs as well!  I was such a relief knowing that they were loved and well taken care of while we were gone.  :)

Anyway, to continue on.....

Matt and I made a call again that afternoon to Maki, who is Paul's (the Attorney) go-between person, of sorts.  I don't really know what else to call her.  Maki is AWESOME!!  She's Marshallese as well and she's known Paul since he was a missionary serving in the Marshall Islands 15 years ago.  At some point in the following years, Paul helped Maki place her first baby for adoption and she has since spent her life finding other Marsallese women who are in need of placing their babies for adoption, who she then refers to Paul and he then finds the families (all through referrals) to place the babies with for adoption.  Together, they make all of the 'magic' happen.  Matt and I are now really great friends with Maki as well and we keep in touch with her still periodically, too.  We consider her to also be a part of our extended family as well.

Since there was a little bit of a language barrier with the birthparents, we relied on Maki at first to help us communicate with them and set up a meeting time.  We agreed to meet for the first time that night for dinner at the Golden Corral, since that's a place that the birthparents like to eat at.  (They like buffet-style types of restaurants.)

Here's what I posted on Facebook at 2:58 p.m.:  We are meeting our birth parents for dinner in 2 hours!!

And another post at 3:04 p.m.:  NOW I'm suddenly TERRIFIED!!

Then again at 3:33 p.m.:  Headed to dinner now.....

We left Marshal & Lacey's house a bit early, just to allow for traffic and to give us plenty enough time to find where we were going, etc.  We really wanted to be on time.  As it turned out, we were WAY early so we went over to a mall just down the street and wandered around for a bit to kill time before we headed over to the restaurant.

And here's what I posted @ 4:49 p.m. as we were sitting in the parking lot at Golden Corral, waiting for the birthparents and Maki to arrive:  Think I'm gonna be sick to my stomach.....

I was SO SCARED at this point....

I'm going to have to sign off again for now and continue tomorrow.  :)

Rewind - Labor Day 2011

Monday, September 5, 2011 - Labor Day

Matt had the day off work so he went golfing early that morning with Ryan Breurton, Ryan Keddington, and Wayne Parent....some of our very best friends....so it was appropriate that they were all there when I called him to tell him about the email I had received from Paul, the Attorney.  I was actually glad that they were with Matt so that they were able to share in the excitement and craziness with him when he got the phone call....and then they were able to go home and tell their wives and start spreading the word for us.

I was supposed to go to Girl's Night out with the wives of those guys that night, along with several other girlfriends as well.  We had all planned to go see the movie, "The Help" that night and go to dinner beforehand.  Needless to say....I didn't make it.  :)

Like I mentioned above, Matt had gotten up early that morning and had gone golfing with the guys....which was crazy, since they had all been up late the night before playing games for Boy's Night.  I was able to sleep in a little and then had planned to spend my morning checking for work during my ER/OP shift that I work on Monday mornings from 9:00 a.m. to 1:00 p.m.  I expected work to be quite a bit slower than normal because it was a VA Holiday, which meant that most of the doctors would be off and wouldn't be sending in work.  I was planning to spend the rest of my day with Matt, trying to finish getting ready for Matai.

I got up that morning and turned on my laptop to begin checking for work.  As usual, I checked the Yahoo email account that we have set up specifically for adoption purposes, which is what we were using to communicate with Paul, the Attorney.  I always checked the account every morning to see if we had gotten any more word from Paul....and I discovered that we had.  When I saw that I had an email from him, my heart immediately leapt into my throat and I began to feel excited and wondered if it might be time.  I opened the email and read a couple of things he had emailed us about.  The first one, though, is what made my heart almost stop and then made me immediately go into crazy busy and excited mode:

 "I just confirmed that, apparently, Danalyn's doctor wants to induce her on Wednesday. If this is accurate (and I don't see why it wouldn't be), then you will need to get out there sooner than later."

I actually re-read that sentence several times, trying to get it to sink in....and then I started to go into panic mode and my mind was reeling, thinking of everything that needed to be done RIGHT NOW! 

Here's what I posted on Facebook shortly after at 9:02 a.m.:

Looks like we're flying to Arkansas either tonight or tomorrow!!!!

Then again at 9:34 a.m.:

Feeling a little bit in panic mode right now....could flying as early as the afternoon!!

Immediately after that, I called Matt and told him about the email.  Obviously, he then got super excited and his mind started racing a mile a minute as well.  He planned to finish golfing with the guys since they were almost done anyway, and then he was going to hurry right home. 

After I hung up with Matt, my first thought went to how soon we could get on a flight out of Salt Lake...whether it would be that afternoon or the next afternoon.  We had previously arranged with our good friend, Rachael Singleton (she worked for Sky West at the time), to use a couple of her Buddy Passes and fly standby, since it would save us a TON of money and would allow us to have the flexibility to fly whenever we needed to and change dates, etc, without any extra charge, should we need to.  I'm so grateful that we did so because at that point we had planned to fly out that Saturday and suddenly we were changing out flight arrangements to fly out a few days earlier.

I sent Rachael a text message on my cell phone and asked her what the options were for us to fly out either that afternoon or the next, and I explained to her why.  She was SUPER EXCITED and immediately began working on making the changes for us.  As it turned out, she got us booked on the flight out that afternoon at 1:45 p.m.

By that time, it was about 10:00 a.m. and we had little time to work with.  I wasn't quite sure yet at that point exactly when Matt would be home so I grabbed a suitcase for Matai and just started throwing everything in it that I thought we might need/want after he was born.  As soon as I had his suitcase all packed, I then grabbed a suitcase for me and started throwing everything in it.  (I hadn't even had time to shower and get dressed yet.)

It was about this time that Matt got home and I told him we were flying out that afternoon at 1:45 p.m.  I told him I already had Matai packed and ready, and was working on my suitcase.  I had a suitcase set out for him as well and told him to start packing!  Ryan Keddington had brought Matt home and was super excited for us, wanting to know if there was anything he could do to help.  He wanted to know if he could help with the dogs or anything.

I forgot to mention that right after I talked with Rachael and got us all booked on the flight out that afternoon, I then began to panic about what to do with the dogs.  Originally, we had made arrangements to take them down to the Fordham's in Spanish Fork and they were going to watch them.  However, at that point, there just wasn't enough time to make the drive down there and back since it would have take us a good 2 hours to do so.  Our next door neighbor, DeAnna, had previously offered to watch Trixie and Bailey, but I had told her that we had it already worked out at the time.  At this point, though, I immediately thought of her and sent her a text to see if she was home.  Thankfully, she was and she came over.  I told her everything she needed to know about taking care of the dogs while we were gone and gave her a key, feeling so grateful to have that taken care of!

Anyway, Ryan Keddington gave both Matt and I hugs and wished us luck as he left and went home.  Matt and I finished packing our suitcases, changed our clothes, and headed out the door.  (I even managed to do something quickly with my hair and put on a little makeup.)

At 11:22 a.m., I posted this on Facebook:

Headed to the airport now!

We drove over to Matt's Mom's house and parked the Avalanche there for them to keep an eye on while we were gone.  Carolyn and Julie, Matt's oldest sister, drove us to the airport. 

Once at the airport, we said goodbye and got ourselves all checked in without any problems.

At 12:49 p.m., I posted this on Facebook:

All checked in...have been in contact w/the attorney & his contact person to let them know we are on our way...seated @ the gate & waiting for seat assignments.

We were able to get seat assignments on the plane without any problem.

At 1:25 p.m., I posted this:

We are on the plane!!

Then at 3:46 p.m., I posted this:

We've landed in Tulsa!

The flight to Tulsa, Oklahoma went really well and it was kind of fun telling people where we were going and why.  The stewardess on that flight was super sweet and spent the whole time that she wasn't busy doing her job on the plane talking to us about the adoption.  She was LDS, too, and was very excited for us!  :)

The reason we flew to Tulsa was because it was much cheaper and because that was the closest airport that Sky West flew into at the time.  Once in Tulsa, it took us about an hour to finally get our luggage.  We had to wait FOREVER!!  As the luggage finally started coming in, people around us began to notice that we had a car seat and a stroller with us, but they couldn't see a baby.  It was funny to watch some of the expressions as they were trying to figure out what the heck was going on.  And then it was fun to explain that the baby wasn't born yet, that we were adopting, and that we were flying to get him.  Once we finally got our luggage, we then headed over to get our rental car.  Matt had piled our backpacks and my laptop bag up on top of the stroller and, again, it was quite entertaining to watch other people's expressions as they watched us walk to the rental car counter.  We even had a couple of people ask where the baby was and Matt, being funny, told them he was in the stroller and that he had just piled everything on top of him.  Then we quickly corrected them and explained our story again.  It was quite comical!  :)

We were able to get our rental car (which we barely fit the 3 suitcases, the car seat, and the stroller in) and then at 5:01 p.m., I posted this:

On the road....headed to Arkansas!

We were staying on Centerton, Arkansas....which is about 2 hours from the Tulsa airport.

My last post for the day was at 7:31 p.m.:

We have arrived @ our destination!

And this is where I have to sign off and go get ready for church.....more tomorrow!  :)

Rewind - The Story of Matai

Well.....it's time for me to finally sit down and write out the rest of the 'story of Matai' and how he has come be a part of our family now. It's going to take me a little time to get it all written out because I want to make sure I get everything just right and don't forget anything important....not to mention that I have a lot less 'free' time these days. So please bare with me and keep checking back for the updates. :)

 

 

I just finished going back and reading what I've already written about the adoption story up to this point, and it's amazing to me how things have changed so much over the last 5 months.....in particular, the last 2.5 months.

 

 

The last time I wrote was on August 25 and I had no idea at that time that just 1.5 weeks later we would be hopping on the next flight out of Salt Lake City and heading to Arkansas to get our baby boy. And what a journey and adventure it was......

Saturday, August 27, 2011 was the Sprinkler World annual summer party for the employees and their families. Matt and I went and our friends, the Fordham Family, joined us as well since they live down that way close by and have season passes. I remember sitting by one of the kiddie pools, watching the kids play in the water, and chatting with Rich and Summer about all of the changes that we were about to embark on. I remember feeling really excited and anxious to just get to Arkansas and for everything to happen finally. I remember having several people ask me during that time period whether I was scared or nervous about what was about to happen, and I remember telling them that I wasn't. I was just really excited and couldn't wait to finally hold Matai in our arms. I kept waiting and hoping for the phone to ring and have it be Paul, the Attorney, calling to tell us that it was time and to get on a plane and go. In fact, while we were at Seven Peaks that day, Matt's phone rang and it was an Arizona phone #. I remember that he looked at me in excitement and that 'Could it be?' look when he realized it was an Arizona number. He mouthed to me that he thought it might be Paul as he walked away to answer it in a quieter place to hear better. I remember sitting there with my heart in my throat and my heart beating like mad, waiting for Matt to come back and tell me that it was time. And I remember the disappointment when he came back and told me that it was only a contractor down in Arizona who was calling him to order parts for work.

Matt's birthday was on Monday, August 29, 2011, and I planned a surprise birthday dinner at Olive Garden. Somehow, I managed to keep it a surprise and we had a great night with all of our closest friends. The next night, Tuesday, August 30, 2011, we went to dinner with Matt's Mom and Sister, Julie, for his birthday at Lone Star Steakhouse.

Matt had a boy's night that he enjoyed going to at the Keddington's house the night of Sunday, September 4.

And then came Monday, September 5, 2011. Labor Day. The day that everything began.

Here's where I'm going to have to stop for today and continue again tomorrow. But first, I wanted to share with you my thought that I wrote on Facebook at 10:11 p.m. on Sunday, September 4, 2011:

"So grateful for my life. I've been so abundantly blessed, in spite of the challenges and frustrations that may come up....or maybe the blessings come BECAUSE of those challenges. My heart hurts for loved ones who are struggling w/their own personal challenges....& I pray that they will remain strong to get through them. I love you!"

Keep following along....the best is yet to come! :)