Rewind - September 6, 2011 (conclusion)

In continuation of my previous post regarding Tuesday, September 6, 2011:

As I said previously, by the time we got to the restaurant to meet the birthparents for the first time, I seriously was a total nervous wreck.  My stomach was in knots and I truly did feel as though I wanted to throw up. 

I was super excited to meet them and I knew what I was hoping for as far as what kind of relationship I wanted with them now and in the future.  I wanted to have a great relationship with them in which we could feel comfortable with each other and keep in touch over the years.  I wanted us to be family, an extended family of sorts.  I want Matai to know his birth family and have a good relationship with them.  I want him to know where he comes from and to know his heritage and be proud of it. 

My biggest fear was that they wouldn't like us.  I was scared to death of saying or doing something totally stupid and having the birth parents change their minds and decide not to place their baby with us afterall.  Don't get me wrong, I had felt very comfortable in what we were doing and had felt very good and at peace, for the most part.  But there were still times, such as this one, that the clouds of doubt would creep in and I would start to worry and feel some anxiety that this adoption situation would suddenly fall apart, just as all of the other previous ones had.....even though this one had felt different from the very beginning.  I had begun to feel pretty strongly that this little boy was apparently supposed to be a part of our family, for whatever reason, but I still worried that things had gone way too smoothly and wonderfully up to that point.  In my head, there was still a part of me that was waiting for it to all fall apart again and it terrified me and broke my heart to even think about it.

Anyway, Matt and I were still several minutes early arriving at Golden Corral so we sat in the car and waited.  Matt kind of wanted to go ahead and go in and wait for them, but I was worried my legs wouldn't work and my stomach was so tied up in knots.  I convinced him to stay in the car and wait.  A part of me wanted to see them first before they saw us.  However, Maki got there first and stood outside the restaurant waiting for everyone.  We had asked Maki to join us so that we could meet her and she could act as a translator in case we had a lanuage barrier and were unable to communicate very well in English.  When we had tried talking to them previously on the phone a few weeks before, we had a difficult time.....but it's also different on the phone as well.

After Maki got there, we then got out of the car and joined her.  We stood talking with her for a few minutes before Danalyn (birthmother) and Jorno (birthfather) got there.  Shortly after that, they drove up in a white Ford Expedition.  As they were walking up to us, I remember commenting to Maki and Matt on how cute they were.  Danalyn is actually a little shorter than me and Jorno is about the same height as Matt......with the typical black hair and beautiful dark skin as those who come from the islands.  They are such a cute, sweet couple! 

We all greeted one another and went inside the restaurant.  Matt and I paid for everyone's dinner.  We got our table, filled our plates with food, and sat and talked while we ate.  I will admit that it was a little awkward that first time meeting.  Maki did translate some, but we mostly talked directly to Danalyn & Jorno in English.  Jorno seemed to understand a little more than Danalyn did at the time.....and to be a little less shy.  It was fun to meet them and begin to get to know them a little, but it was also hard in some ways as well.  We were a little uncertain about the language barrier or their customs, so we were careful to be respectful.  However, we also tried really hard to just be ourselves as well. 

Danalyn wasn't very talkative.  She would answer questions in very short answers when asked a question, but she didn't really ask us very many questions at all.  Neither did Jorno.  Maki did a good deal of talking with all of us as well.  The dinner went well, but I was still a little uncertain of how they felt about us and how well it had gone from their end by the time we left the restaurant.  All I could do was pray that it had gone well from their perspective as well.  We were at the restaurant all of about an hour before we all left.  For those who know me, you know that I'm a very affectionate, hugging person.  As we were leaving, I made sure I initiated hugs with both Danalyn and Jorno in an effort to show them who I am as a person and how much I appreciated them for what they were doing for us.  I wanted them to know how much they mean to us and how much we love them, even if we really didn't know them yet.  It was obviously not something they are used to, but they both accepted the hugs and hugged us back. 

Here is what I posted on Facebook at 6:17 p.m. that night as we were leaving Golden Corral:  Dinner went well. Birthparents are great people!....shy & quieter...but really sweet. Baby is going to be gorgeous! Danalyn is my height...maybe even a little shorter (LOL)...& Jorno is close to Matt in height. They are a very cute couple!

A little while later, Matt and I began texting Maki.  I can't remember if we initiated it or if she did, but she became our texting buddy after that and was able to give us the 'inside scoop' on what Danalyn and Jorno thought.  It was quite helpful.  LOL 

To this day, we still keep in touch with Maki through texts.  She's awesome and we love her to pieces!  :)

Here's what I posted at 8:13 p.m.:  Apparently, the birthparents really liked us and were quite touched by some of the things that we said at dinner. :)

Whie at dinner, Matt and I made a point to tell Danalyn & Jorno how much we loved them and appreciated their sacrifice they were making....and how much they were blessing our family.  We told them about some of our struggles and what we had gone through over the years in trying to adopt.  (At one point, there were even tears shed as we shared.)  We made a special point to share with them how important it is to us that Matai know his birth family and where he came from.  We told them that it's important for us to keep in touch with them throughout the years, if they are comfortable with it, which they also expressed an interest in. 

Also, before we left the restaurant, we made arrangements to meet Danalyn & Jorno the next afternoon for Danalyn's appointment. 

We went to bed that night more excited than ever for Matai to be born....and we were praying that it would be the next day!