Faith in the Lord Jesus Christ

In the last year in particular I have found that it has become more and more of a struggle for me to read my scriptures and say my prayers daily. It's something that I KNOW I should be doing, but for some reason I seem to struggle with actually getting it done. I'm allowing too many other unimportant things to get in the way......or it basically really just boils down to pure laziness on my part.

I've come to the realization that this is part of the reason that this last year has been a struggle for me on several different levels. I've missed having that close relationship with my Heavenly Father and I have felt quite 'alone' for much of this last year....which I've come to the realization is largely due to my own fault.

With the beginning of the new year, it has become very evident to me that I need to make some positive changes on my part. I need to reevaluate the things that are most important to me and put those things first and foremost in my life. I have to make a conscious effort to stop allowing those things that are unimportant and distracting from getting in the way and taking over.

I used to have such a wonderful, loving, and close relationship with my Heavenly Father. I knew that he knew me and that he knew what was going on in my life. With great joy and appreciation, I can actually look back over my life at numerous occasions when I recognized then and still do today that my Heavenly Father was there for me. Whatever trials and tests I may have been enduring at that time, I can honestly say now with great confidence that I KNOW with a surety that my Heavenly Father was there for me and that he helped me to get through those tough times. And it was through those tough times that I gained an even greater love and appreciation for my Savior in ways that I might not have otherwise.

I guess in my stubbornness and in my own stupidity, I have chosen to forget those things in the last year or 2......and, as a result, I have felt quite alone at times. I haven't felt nearly as close or connected to my Heavenly Father during this time of trial as I should be.....and it's completely my own fault, I know.

With the beginning of the new year and my realization that some things need to change in my life........I have gained a greater desire to get back to that relationship that I used to have with my Savior. I want to feel his loving arms around me again, comforting me when my heart is breaking and when I'm struggling with my own personal trials. I want to feel his love and the hope and peace that comes with it. I want to have greater faith and hope that the things that I'm struggling with will work themselves out eventually when the time is right. I'm tired of the loneliness and fear that I've felt for quite some time now.

Yes, I said fear. I have also come to the realization that fear is a large part of some of what I've been struggling with as well. Fear of the unknown......fear of failure......fear that I can't handle or do whatever it is that the Lord has in store for me. It's time to finally let go of that fear and allow myself to be a better person and have faith that with the Lord's help and guiding hand, I can do whatever it is that He needs me to do. I do know that with the Lord's help I can do anything......I just forgot.....again.

As part of my effort to make some of these positive changes in my life, Matt and I have made some pretty big decisions. We made the decision to sell our house and 'downsize' and 'simplify' for a while and move into an apartment while we do so. While it was a very hard decision to make, it's one that we haven't regretted and that we still feel very good and peaceful about. It's been a good faith-promoting experience for us both. We have both felt the hand of the Lord guiding us and helping us in the process. Once those decisions were made, we felt that they were the right ones and we have felt peace and happiness about it since.

I have also begun to make some personal changes of my own in order to rekindle my relationship with my Heavenly Father again. I guess you could say that I'm trying to get back to basics and 'simplify' in the spiritual aspect as well. I have made a goal for myself to read my scriptures at least a 1/2 hour a day and to say my personal prayers again. I have really, earnestly, been doing this for about 2 weeks now, and I can already feel a difference. I have designated an hour to 1.5 hours first thing in the morning as MY time. This is MY time to read my scriptures, say my prayers, and I also even allow myself time to read a chapter or 2 of whatever book I'm enjoying reading at the time. I'm not quite to my scriptures yet, but I have been trying to catch up on reading the Ensign as a way to start. (I'm about 2 years behind.) I have found that it's been a great way to start my morning and I find that I actually look forward to getting up in the morning and having this 'ME' time.

Anyway, in my reading this morning in the May 2009, Conference issue of the Ensign I came across this talk and it completely blew me away!! I know I heard this talk when Elder Pearson actually gave it in Conference 2 years ago.....but I'm sure it didn't sink in nearly as profoundly as it did today. This talk absolutely penetrated my heart to the core.......so much so that I actually read it twice. It was everything I needed to hear right now. I wanted to share it with you, so here is the link to get to that talk online.

http://lds.org/general-conference/2009/04/faith-in-the-lord-jesus-christ?lang=eng&query=faith+lord+jesus+christ

AMAZING!! Exactly what I needed to hear today. It was like a ray of light shining into my soul as I read it and I immediately knew that this is what I need to focus on right now. I need to let go of the fear and work on having more faith. I need to learn to love myself more and stop worrying about failure and fear of the 'unknown'.

I KNOW this to be true, but I have to constantly remind myself:

As long as I allow my Heavenly Father to guide me.....and as long as I have the faith and am in tune enough to recognize that guidance.....I can do anything! When the time is right, those blessings that I seek will be granted and those things that I struggle with will become easier. I HAVE to let go of the fear that has been holding me back for so long and allow myself to do the things that I need to do. I know that my Savior loves me and that he knows my personal struggles. I KNOW that I am a Child of God and that he loves me and knows what's best for me......and I have to hold onto that.

Come What May, and Love It

I've been reading in the November 2008 Ensign again this morning.....really enjoying remembering and re-reading the talks and addresses from the October 2008 General Conference. So many of them seem to be what I really need to hear again right now.

In my reading this morning, I read the talk "Come What May, and Love It" by Elder Joseph B. Wirthlin. Here is a link to that talk so that you can enjoy it yourself:

http://lds.org/liahona/2008/11/come-what-may-and-love-it?lang=eng

Again, more really great 'advice' for me to take into consideration and apply to my daily life. One of my favorite quotes in that talk was something that Elder Wirthlin typed up on a small card and gave to one of his daughters who was suffering from an illness at the time:

"The simple secret is this: put your trust in the Lord, do your best, then leave the rest to Him."

Such simple and true words for me and each of us to apply to our lives on a daily basis. So simple and true....yet so hard to do at times. I'm working to get better at it every day.....

Blessings & Amazing Friends

To be completely honest, the last 1.5 weeks haven't been our greatest......especially for my sweet hubby. I hate to see Matt struggling so much and worrying....and allowing things to make him question his own worth at times. It's not very often that Matt gets down....he's generally a very happy, upbeat guy, which is one of the things that I love most about him. So when he does have a day or 2 when things get him down.....it's really tough for me to sit by and watch him struggle.




Monday night was one of those nights. Matt seemed to be carrying the weight of the world on his shoulders and suddenly something snapped. He sometimes has a habit of carrying the things that are bothering him around for a while and bottling them up until he's ready to talk about them. I'm someone who likes to talk things out pretty quickly, so I've had to learn over the years how to sometimes take a step back and allow Matt to process things and deal with them in his own way. When he's ready to talk, he'll usually come to me with it and we'll then talk it out and figure it out together. However, it's still hard for me to take that step back sometimes.



Anyway, something finally snapped on Monday night and the dam finally broke.....everything that he's been carrying around and worrying about for the last week (or longer) finally came pouring out and he finally was able to release a lot of the bottled up anger, frustration, and, to a certain extent, hurt, over some things that he's been dealing with lately in other aspects of our lives......things that I still can't go into detail over, but not necessarily having anything to do with me or the relationship that we have together. Just other things in life that he is dealing with on a daily basis. I spent a good portion of the night just sitting with him and allowing him to vent and release a myriad of emotions......for the most part saying nothing except trying to help him feel better. Finally, we rested for a few hours and he went to work like normal yesterday.



Matt works harder than anyone I know (except my Dad) and he's an amazing person. He has formed many friendships with contractors and others that he deals with at work on a daily basis....and he greatly values those friendships and relationships. He tries very hard to deal with customers and contractors in a fair and honest manner and make them feel comfortable to be around him.



One of those contractors with whom he has formed a great friendship came into the store yesterday and saw Matt. Apparently, he could tell that something was still bothering Matt so he took him aside and talked with him for a few minutes. Ryan is also a member of our church and is a worthy Priesthood holder. He felt that it was appropriate and asked Matt if he would like him to come over after work and give Matt a blessing. Matt, not being one to normally ask for one himself, told Ryan he would think about it and let him know. Ryan then sent him a text after they both were home and asked him again if he would like him to come over later and give Matt a blessing. Matt and I talked about it and agreed that it certainly wouldn't hurt anything to allow Ryan to do so.....and probably would even be a good idea.



Ryan came over about 7:30 last night and ended up spending a good 1.5 hours just sitting with us and talking with us about a lot of things.....as a true friend would do. As previously mentioned, Matt and Ryan have become really great friends over the years in working together and Ryan has become someone that Matt trusts and feels comfortable enough to talk to about personal matters at times......especially since it seems that Ryan and his wife have quite a bit in common with Matt and I....including having had their own issues with infertility, etc., over the years as well.



The 3 of us prayed together and invited the Spirit to be with us and Ryan then proceeded to give Matt a really great blessing of comfort. Afterwards, Matt and Ryan both gave me a blessing of comfort as well. Tears were shed and the Spirit was definitely in the room. Last night ended up being one of the most enjoyable evenings I've had in a while.....thanks to Ryan listening to the promptings of the Spirit and heading those promptings.



I am so grateful for the power of the Gospel in my life.....and for the Priesthood. I'm constantly reminded of so many great blessings that I have in my life, in spite of the challenges and trials that we also face on a daily basis. I have such a testimony of the Gospel, even though I sometimes forget and I can be stubborn and I don't always do all of the things that I know I should be doing. As Ryan left our house last night, I had a new resolve to try harder to do those things that I've been slacking off on and to try harder to do those things that will invite the Spirit to be a more prominent part of my daily life. I truly do need guidance and inspiration from the Spirit and from my Savior, probably greater at this point in my life than ever before, with so many life changing decisions to be made and so many personal struggles that Matt and I both continue to deal with. There were particular words spoken in both of our blessings last night that really stood out to me and gave me a reassurance that I need to hang in there and be strong.....that the Lord is mindful of the things that Matt and I are trying to do and the righteous desires of our hearts. If we will be strong and stay close to the Spirit those desires will begin to unfold in their own due time.



I'm so grateful for the power of true friends in our lives who are always there when we most need them. Whether it be with a kind word, a smile, a hug.....or coming to pick Matt up to take him golfing for the day because he needs something to cheer him up and take his mind off things for a while......or listening to a prompting and offering a listening ear and a blessing of comfort to Matt when it's obvious that he's struggling a bit. Thank you. It truly warms our hearts to have so many close and wonderful friends and family to share the ups and downs of our lives with. Again, thank you! We love you all! :)




I took some time to read a little in the Ensign this morning when I woke up......an older Ensign from November of 2008. This particular one is filled with the Conference addresses and talks from the previous month's Conference sessions. I ended up reading the talk that was given by President Dieter F. Uchtdorf......an absolutely amazing man and one of my very favorite General Authorities.......entitled: "The Infinite Power of Hope".

"Hope in God, His goodness, and His power refreshes us with courage during difficult challenges."

I felt that it was appropriate and quite fitting for the moment and thought I would share the talk. If you're interested in reading it, click on the link below:

http://lds.org/general-conference/2008/10/the-infinite-power-of-hope?lang=eng

It really hit home for me right now. :)

I love the Gospel of Jesus Christ and I love my Savior and my Heavenly Father. The Savior has sacrificed so much for me and now it's my turn to be strong and do whatever it takes to live my life the best way possible and return to live with Him someday. I know that my Redeemer lives and loves me and that I am truly a Child of God. If I can only continue to remember that in the most challenging of times and remember to stay close to the Spirit, I can get through these challenging times and can be an even better and stronger person in the end.

Path to Eternal Life

"The path to eternal life is not on a plateau. Rather, it is an incline, ever onward and upward. Hence, ever-increasing spiritual understanding and energy are required to reach our destination. Because the pernicious opposition by Satan continues, the continuous enlightened guidance of the Holy Ghost is absolutely essential."

--Keith K. Hilbig, "Quench Not the Spirit Which Quickens the Inner Man", Ensign, Nov 2007, 37–39

Kindness

"Kindness is the essence of greatness and the fundamental characteristic of the noblest men and women I have known. Kindness is a passport that opens doors and fashions friends. It softens hearts and molds relationships that can last lifetimes...Kindness is the essence of a celestial life. Kindness is how a Christlike person treats others. Kindness should permeate all of our words and actions at work, at school, at church, and especially in our homes."

--Joseph B. Wirthlin,, "The Virtue of Kindness", Ensign, May 2005, 26


I really enjoyed reading this talk, and I realize that it's something that I'm still striving to work on and 'perfect' in my life. I realize that there are moments that I do struggle with being kind to others, and I shouldn't. I hope that we can all maybe strive to be just a little kinder from now on in our daily lives.

Do It Now

I will admit that this talk really hit home for me this morning! I have much to change in the way of procrastination...and because of it, much guilt because I know that I have much to change! May we all take the necessary steps to make whatever changes we need to for the better in our lives...NOW, rather than later...me included. :)

"Procrastination may seem the easy way, as it momentarily removes the effort required to accomplish something of value. Ironically, in time, procrastination produces a heavy burden laced with guilt and a hollow lack of satisfaction. Temporal and, even more importantly, spiritual goals will not be achieved by procrastination."

--Elder Donald L. Hallstrom, "Do It Now", Ensign, Nov 2007, 49–51

Family

"Just as Jesus used a child in His mortal ministry as an example for the people of the pure love they must and could have to be like Him, He has offered us the family as an example of an ideal setting in which we can learn how to love as He loves. That is because the greatest joys and the greatest sorrows we experience are in family relationships."

--Henry B. Eyring, "Our Perfect Example", Ensign, Nov 2009, 70–73

Diligent

"Our testimony of gospel truth should be reflected both in our words and in our deeds. And our testimonies are proclaimed and lived most powerfully in our own homes. Spouses, parents, and children should strive to overcome any hesitancy, reluctance, or embarrassment about bearing testimony. We should both create and look for opportunities to bear testimony of gospel truths—and live them."

--David A. Bednar, "More Diligent and Concerned at Home", Ensign, Nov 2009, 17–20

Courage

"My final plea tonight is that you have the courage to stand firm for truth and righteousness. Because the trend in society today is away from the values and principles the Lord has given us, you will almost certainly be called upon to defend that which you believe. Unless the roots of your testimony are firmly planted, it will be difficult for you to withstand the ridicule of those who challenge your faith. When firmly planted, your testimony of the gospel, of the Savior, and of our Heavenly Father will influence all that you do throughout your life. The adversary would like nothing better than for you to allow derisive comments and criticism of the Church to cause you to question and doubt. Your testimony, when constantly nourished, will keep you safe."

-- Thomas S. Monson,"May You Have Courage"

A Period of Testing & Foundation of Faith

"Mortality is a period of testing, a time to prove ourselves worthy to return to the presence of our Heavenly Father. In order for us to be tested, we must face challenges and difficulties. These can break us, and the surface of our souls may crack and crumble—that is, if our foundations of faith, our testimonies of truth are not deeply embedded within us."

and

"If we do not have a deep foundation of faith and a solid testimony of truth, we may have difficulty withstanding the harsh storms and icy winds of adversity which inevitably come to each of us."

--Thomas S. Monson, "On Being Spiritually Prepared", Ensign, Feb 2010, 4–6

Spirit of Hope

"The Lord gives us a spirit of hope and a feeling of comfort and confidence that we can overcome the obstacles we face. He has shown the way to gain strength during our struggles. With His assistance, we have the ability to succeed."
--L. Lionel Kendrick, "Strength During Struggles", Ensign, Oct 2001, 24

Trials and Testimony

"God’s plan is designed so that each of us will go through many trials in our lives. Trials are His way of stretching us and helping us become as He is. Our crises will differ in magnitude and frequency, but they will continue throughout our lives. As John learned, strength to overcome these trials and return to Heavenly Father is found in the word of our testimonies."
--Paul B. Pieper, "Trials and Testimony", Ensign, Mar 2010, 32–33

Faith and the Atonement

"Faith in the Lord is trust in the Lord. We cannot have true faith in the Lord without also having complete trust in the Lord’s will and in the Lord’s timing. As a result, no matter how strong our faith is, it cannot produce a result contrary to the will of Him in whom we have faith. Remember that when your prayers do not seem to be answered in the way or at the time you desire. The exercise of faith in the Lord Jesus Christ is always subject to the order of heaven, to the goodness and will and wisdom and timing of the Lord. When we have that kind of faith and trust in the Lord, we have true security and serenity in our lives."

--Dallin H. Oaks

Spiritual Guidance

"Impressions of the Spirit can come in response to urgent prayer or unsolicited when needed. Sometimes the Lord reveals truth to you when you are not actively seeking it, such as when you are in danger and do not know it. However, the Lord will not force you to learn. You must exercise your agency to authorize the Spirit to teach you. As you make this a practice in your life, you will be more perceptive to the feelings that come with spiritual guidance. Then, when that guidance comes, sometimes when you least expect it, you will recognize it more easily."


--Richard G. Scott, "To Acquire Spiritual Guidance", Ensign, Nov 2009, 6–9

Finding Strength

"When the winds blow and the rains pour, they blow and pour on all. Those who have built their foundations on bedrock rather than sand survive the storms. There is a way to build on bedrock by developing a deep personal conversion to the gospel of Jesus Christ and knowing how to receive inspiration. We must know—and know that we know. We must stand spiritually and temporally independent of all worldly creatures. This begins by understanding that God the Father is the Father of our spirits and that He loves us, that Jesus Christ is our Redeemer and Savior, and that the Holy Ghost can communicate with our minds and our hearts. This is how we receive inspiration. We need to learn how to recognize and apply these promptings."

--Allan F. Packer, "Finding Strength in Challenging Times", Ensign, May 2009, 17–19

I know that this is something that I struggle with on a personal level quite often. I struggle with knowing that what I might be feeling and 'hearing' in my heart might actually be inspiration from my Savior.....or whether it is simply a product of my own needs and wants at the time. As I continue to struggle and grow in my own personal relationship with my Heavenly Father, I do come to realize more and more that He watches over me and He does guide me in my daily life. I have felt the hand of my Savior in my life on numerous occasions. I continually strive to listen and be open and receptive enough to the Spirit to be able to know and recognize when I am receiving those spiritual promptings and inspiration that the Lord would have me recognize and learn from. I hope and pray that, with time and practice, I can continue to grow and learn to be more receptive and open.....and to draw closer to my Beloved Heavenly Father through the experiences that I might yet have in the future.

The Best Christmas

"Giving, not getting, brings to full bloom the Christmas spirit. Enemies are forgiven, friends remembered, and God obeyed. The spirit of Christmas illuminates the picture window of the soul, and we look out upon the world’s busy life and become more interested in people than things. To catch the real meaning of the “spirit of Christmas,” we need only drop the last syllable, and it becomes the “Spirit of Christ."

--Thomas S. Monson, "The Best Christmas Ever", Liahona, Dec 2008, 2–6

Probably my best Christmas that I will always remember is one a few years ago when I was still living with my parents in South Carolina, shortly before I moved to Utah. My best friend, Christy, and I were very active and involved with the missionaries at the time. Christy is a convert to the Church and had joined the church a couple of years before this particular Christmas. She had...and still has....a very special love for the missionaries. Together, we quickly became great friends with a great many of the missionaries in the Columbia, South Carolina Mission who were serving at the time......many of whom we still remain in contact with today, long after they have all returned home. We became very close with the Mission President and is wife as well, President and Sister Maxfield. That year, Christy and I knew that there were quite a few missionaries serving in the area we lived in who were out in the Mission Field for the first time that Christmas and were feeling a little homesick being so far away from home. We ended up doing the 12 Days of Christmas for about 8 or 9 different companionships that year......and had the time of our lives! Most of the missionaries quickly figured out that it was Christy and I who were leaving little 'surprises' on their doorsteps every day for 12 days before Christmas......but it sure helped to ease some of the loneliness and homesickness that so many of them were feeling at that particular time of year. More importantly, that was one of the greatest Christmases for me........one that I will never forget as I will always remember the smiles on their faces and the laughter that we shared that Christmas.

MERRY CHRISTMAS!! WE LOVE YOU!!

The Best We Can Be

"The Lord doesn’t expect us to work harder than we are able. He doesn’t (nor should we) compare our efforts to those of others. Our Heavenly Father asks only that we do the best we can—that we work according to our full capacity, however great or small that may be."

"It is often in the trial of adversity that we learn those most critical lessons that form our character and shape our destiny."

--Dieter F. Uchtdorf, "Two Principles for Any Economy", Ensign, Nov 2009, 55–58

Live To Serve

Here is another really GREAT talk by one of our beloved General Authorities! Just another of the many great reminders of how to be a better person and show more kindness and love to those we hold most dear to us. Here is the link to get to it:

--Elder Claudio R. M. Costa, "Don't Leave for Tomorrow What You Can Do Today", October 2007 General Conference

I'm very grateful to a Mother and Father who lovingly and adamantly taught me as I grew up to never be afraid to say, "I Love You" to those I love. My Mom made it a 'rule' of sorts to never leave the house or hang up the phone without saying those 3 precious words......"I Love You". She always told us that those may be the last words we ever get to say to each other. We never really know what life will hand us and we don't want our last words to be something that we will later regret. Some may find it strange that I am able to express those words so freely to those closest to me........but it's very much a part of who I am and I'm not planning to change it! :) Since marrying Matt, he has come to learn the same rule that Mom always taught my sisters and I growing up........never forget to say "I Love You" and give each other a hug and a kiss when parting each other's company. It's a 'rule' that I also plan to instill in my future children someday as well.

So.....with that being said.....I LOVE YOU ALL and I'm very grateful to have each of you in my life!! :)

The Time Is Now

I just read a really great talk, and thought I would share it with you. Here is the quote that I received in an email, which then drew my attention to reading the entire talk:

"Very often in our anxiousness for the joys of the future we run away from the very things we are wanting and needing today. An appropriate examination of the passing moment will prove it leads to eternity. We need to constantly remind ourselves eternity is in process now."

--Marvin J. Ashton, "The Time Is Now", Ensign, May 1975, 85

I would encourage you to read the whole talk in it's entirety. To do so, simply click on the blue colored link and it till take you directly to it.

Enjoy!

Our Personal Liahona

"The words of Christ can be a personal Liahona for each of us, showing us the way. Let us not be slothful because of the easiness of the way. Let us in faith take the words of Christ into our minds and into our hearts as they are recorded in sacred scripture and as they are uttered by living prophets, seers, and revelators. Let us with faith and diligence feast upon the words of Christ, for the words of Christ will be our spiritual Liahona telling us all things what we should do."

--W. Rolfe Kerr, "The Words of Christ, Our Spiritual Liahona", Ensign, May 2004, 36