Oquirrh (pronounced O-ker) Mountain Temple Dedication

This summer, Matt and I had the opportunity to participate in the opening of the new Oquirrh Mountain Temple in South Jordan, Utah. We were able to volunteer and help out in various capacities as the Open House began in May and ran through August. Since this new Temple will now be the Temple that we will be attending, and we don't know when/if we will ever have this opportunity again, we took advantage of this great opportunity and volunteered for every day that was asked of our Ward to serve. We don't have children to have to juggle and find sitters for and we have no other excuses to keep us from doing so, so we took the opportunity to serve.....and enjoyed every minute of it!!

The Temple Dedication began on Friday, August 21 and ran through Sunday, August 23. Matt and I had the privilege of getting tickets to attend the Dedication on Saturday, August 22, 2009 at 12:00 noon. What a privilege it was to sit in this marvelous and sacred building, just down the hall from our beloved Prophet Thomas S. Monson, as he dedicated the Temple to our Lord. It was an amazing experience.......one that I will never forget. As we all lifted our white handkerchiefs in singing Hosannah's...........I truly felt the Spirit very strong!!

Since this summer, I have truly grown to love this Temple and have felt a personal relationship with it. I am excited to be able to take my future family there someday to be sealed to Matt and I! I feel extremely blessed to now have 13 functioning Temples right here within the Salt Lake Valley.......what an incredible blessing! I only hope that I can always remember to take advantage of this blessing and attend as often as possible......

Hunter Poker Run 2009

OK......So I realize that I'm a few months behind in posting some of the 'happenings' that have been going on in our lives over the last few months. We've been pretty busy, but I either haven't had time to blog about it or I forget to bring the camera and get pictures of it. So here goes in trying to get updated!

Every summer, the first weekend in August, we go on the annual Hunter Poker Run. It's one of those things that we look forward to every summer! This year, Matt and I went up on Friday afternoon and camped through Sunday morning. Here are some of the pictures that I got while we were out riding all day on Saturday, August 1. Unfortunately, I didn't get very many shots this year because the batteries died in my camera and I had forgotten to bring more.

These are pictures of Chad and Matt. (Chad is Matt's boss and one of his closest friends.) Chad took these and I 'borrowed' them. :) We had been out riding for most of the day and had come back for lunch. Afterwards, the 'boys' went out riding for a bit again. I figured Matt would enjoy having some 'boy time'.......so I enjoyed staying back at camp and chatting it up with some of the ladies while they were out riding again! :)

And here is proof that I really was there! LOL :) Obviously, we had just come back from riding for a few hours and were having some yummy lunch.

The Best Christmas

"Giving, not getting, brings to full bloom the Christmas spirit. Enemies are forgiven, friends remembered, and God obeyed. The spirit of Christmas illuminates the picture window of the soul, and we look out upon the world’s busy life and become more interested in people than things. To catch the real meaning of the “spirit of Christmas,” we need only drop the last syllable, and it becomes the “Spirit of Christ."

--Thomas S. Monson, "The Best Christmas Ever", Liahona, Dec 2008, 2–6

Probably my best Christmas that I will always remember is one a few years ago when I was still living with my parents in South Carolina, shortly before I moved to Utah. My best friend, Christy, and I were very active and involved with the missionaries at the time. Christy is a convert to the Church and had joined the church a couple of years before this particular Christmas. She had...and still has....a very special love for the missionaries. Together, we quickly became great friends with a great many of the missionaries in the Columbia, South Carolina Mission who were serving at the time......many of whom we still remain in contact with today, long after they have all returned home. We became very close with the Mission President and is wife as well, President and Sister Maxfield. That year, Christy and I knew that there were quite a few missionaries serving in the area we lived in who were out in the Mission Field for the first time that Christmas and were feeling a little homesick being so far away from home. We ended up doing the 12 Days of Christmas for about 8 or 9 different companionships that year......and had the time of our lives! Most of the missionaries quickly figured out that it was Christy and I who were leaving little 'surprises' on their doorsteps every day for 12 days before Christmas......but it sure helped to ease some of the loneliness and homesickness that so many of them were feeling at that particular time of year. More importantly, that was one of the greatest Christmases for me........one that I will never forget as I will always remember the smiles on their faces and the laughter that we shared that Christmas.

MERRY CHRISTMAS!! WE LOVE YOU!!

The Best We Can Be

"The Lord doesn’t expect us to work harder than we are able. He doesn’t (nor should we) compare our efforts to those of others. Our Heavenly Father asks only that we do the best we can—that we work according to our full capacity, however great or small that may be."

"It is often in the trial of adversity that we learn those most critical lessons that form our character and shape our destiny."

--Dieter F. Uchtdorf, "Two Principles for Any Economy", Ensign, Nov 2009, 55–58

Live To Serve

Here is another really GREAT talk by one of our beloved General Authorities! Just another of the many great reminders of how to be a better person and show more kindness and love to those we hold most dear to us. Here is the link to get to it:

--Elder Claudio R. M. Costa, "Don't Leave for Tomorrow What You Can Do Today", October 2007 General Conference

I'm very grateful to a Mother and Father who lovingly and adamantly taught me as I grew up to never be afraid to say, "I Love You" to those I love. My Mom made it a 'rule' of sorts to never leave the house or hang up the phone without saying those 3 precious words......"I Love You". She always told us that those may be the last words we ever get to say to each other. We never really know what life will hand us and we don't want our last words to be something that we will later regret. Some may find it strange that I am able to express those words so freely to those closest to me........but it's very much a part of who I am and I'm not planning to change it! :) Since marrying Matt, he has come to learn the same rule that Mom always taught my sisters and I growing up........never forget to say "I Love You" and give each other a hug and a kiss when parting each other's company. It's a 'rule' that I also plan to instill in my future children someday as well.

So.....with that being said.....I LOVE YOU ALL and I'm very grateful to have each of you in my life!! :)

The Time Is Now

I just read a really great talk, and thought I would share it with you. Here is the quote that I received in an email, which then drew my attention to reading the entire talk:

"Very often in our anxiousness for the joys of the future we run away from the very things we are wanting and needing today. An appropriate examination of the passing moment will prove it leads to eternity. We need to constantly remind ourselves eternity is in process now."

--Marvin J. Ashton, "The Time Is Now", Ensign, May 1975, 85

I would encourage you to read the whole talk in it's entirety. To do so, simply click on the blue colored link and it till take you directly to it.

Enjoy!

Hanging by a very thin thread.....

I've heard many times over the years that the Lord will not give us more than we can handle. So I ask......Why does He seem to think I'm this strong? How much longer is my heart going to hurt? Just when I thinking I'm feeling better.....something happens to throw everything off kilter again and the discouragement and constant ache seem to get stronger.

What do you do when your sweet husband gets so discouraged with the seemingly endless 'wait' and tells you that he's about to give up hope? How does your heart not break when he looks at you with tears in his eyes and asks you.......'Are we EVER going to have children?"

I'm pretty sure my heart broke a little more last night........

Please keep us in your prayers. We could certainly use them right now.

MIA....for about 2 months. We really are still alive!

I've been thinking lately that it's about time I wrote another post on the blog. It's been almost an entire month since I last wrote. The thing is, I haven't really KNOWN what to write.....and haven't really FELT very much like writing. At this point, I'm still trying to decide even how to begin. So here goes.............

Well....the last 2 months have been somewhat of a struggle, I guess you could say. For both Matt and I. I'll try to summarize a bit without getting too wordy or boring you too much.....but to be honest, I can't really promise too much. :) I've had a lot on my mind!

Matt and I have a really great relationship, to which I am truly, TRULY grateful!! I couldn't have asked for a better friend, confidante, partner, love, etc......you get the idea. I absolutely mean it when I say that he is truly my best friend! There isn't anyone else that I would rather spend my time with and share the daily 'struggles' of life with! I'm so glad I have his shoulders to cry on when I need it.........and an understanding heart to talk to. And vice versa for him as well.

For the most part, Matt and I both tend to remain pretty upbeat, positive, and happy and we try really hard not to let things get us down very often.....or at least stay down for very long. We do know in our hearts and minds that, despite whatever struggles and heartaches we may face in life at times, we WILL get through them and will be better and stronger for those struggles.......as long as we remain close to our Heavenly Father and allow Him to help carry us through those struggles. But...just like everyone else....sometimes we do forget and need to be reminded again.

I guess you could say that I've been going through one of those 'struggling times' again....and I HATE IT!! :)

If I really want to be truthful........I think it started at the end of July. I think the feelings of loneliness started creeping in when my sweet sister and her family moved down to Texas the weekend of July 24th. I had known for a good while that they were moving, but I don't think it really sank in....or maybe I was avoiding thinking about it too much, I don' t know......but as the time drew nearer and nearer, I found myself trying to spend more and more time with Pauline and the kids (Jeremy was still in D.C. for the military). Then the week prior to July 25th, Pauline's father-in-law, Hector, flew in to spend that week with her and the kids trying to get everything all packed up and ready leave that Saturday. That whole week quickly became consumed with trying to help them get packed as quickly as we possibly could. Hector was WONDERFUL in patiently keeping things going and trying to stay on task as much as possible, which wasn't necessarily easy with 4 kids running around the house and my sister trying to keep up with everything going on at the same time. Unfortunately, that weekend just happened to be my weekend to work so I wasn't able to help clean and get things packed as much as I wanted to. But Matt was great and spent every free minute he had over there helping out, for which I was extremely grateful for.

Saturday, July 25.....Matt spent the entire day over at Pauline's place finishing getting them packed and the moving truck all loaded up, while I stayed home and worked my shift for work. Matt finished packing up the truck with Hector and they sent Hector on his way back to Texas driving the moving truck. Matt came home and got me and we headed out to the airport to pick Jeremy up. We brought Jeremy back to their apartment to meet up with Pauline and the kids so that they could then drive the van together down to Texas before Jeremy flew back out again from Texas to go back to D.C. for a couple more months still.

As you can imagine, it was a pretty crazy and emotional day! When we got back to Pauline's place with Jeremy, Matt and I had to quickly say our 'goodbyes' and head over to Matt's Mom's house for the traditional Nelson Family party. These pictures were taken as we were in the process of saying those goodbyes.



As we drove away and headed to Matt's Mom's house....it was deathly quiet in the truck. I think Matt and I were both somewhat lost in our own thoughts and feelings. There wasn't much talking at that time, only a couple of comments about how much we were going to miss them. I actually ended up quietly crying the whole way, already feeling the loneliness and feeling stupid for feeling that way at the same time. I know it's not goodbye and we'll still see each other as often as possible....but it will never be the same as only living 10 minutes down the road from each other.

Don't get me wrong.....Matt and I have the BEST FRIENDS EVER and our Heavenly Father to turn to. We're never REALLY alone, and I do know that. But it's still different.

Anyway, I had done a pretty good job of getting the tears dried up by the time we got to Matt's Mom's house. HOWEVER, as soon as I walked into the house....my mother-in-law said something and I dissolved into sobbing tears again. She was great and just hugged me and let me cry on her shoulder. She helped me to not feel so stupid about missing them so much already and about feeling lonely without them already. I don't think Carolyn really knows how much that meant to me. :)

My sister was always so great about allowing Matt and I to live somewhat vicariously, I guess you could say, through her kids since we don't have any of our own. She was always appreciative of the help, especially with Jeremy being gone so often for the military, and she always enjoyed getting together and taking the kids and doing fun things. While we were out and about, Matt and I would see something and think....."Oh! The kids would LOVE that! We should take them!".....and then we would call Pauline and plan it. I don't think Pauline will ever know just how much Matt and I enjoyed being able to spend so much time with her and the kids.....and for her allowing us to treat the kids so often as though they were our own. Even now, as I look at the pictures from the day the Baca Family moved....I get teary eyed and a lump in my throat. But, hey, at least I can now drive past Redwood Road and their old apartment without crying everytime! I think that means I'm making some progress! :)

I think it was also about that time that the frustration with being childless also began to set in again as well. Maybe it's because the 'filler of that hole', I guess you could say, was suddenly gone. I don't know. But it's been a struggle in the weeks since. Between baby blessings and primary programs......let's just say that it's been quite tough at times!

Our Ward probably thinks that Matt and I have gone somewhat inactive, since we seem to have only been to church in our Ward a couple of weeks in the last 2 months or so. However, we're not inactive. We've just had a lot going on. We've been out of town, had baby blessings, training sessions for working at the new Oquirrh Mountain Temple, General Conference, and had a couple weeks when Matt and I were both sick and not feeling well physically as well. It's been nuts, to say the least.......

We did make it to our Ward a few weeks ago and the talks that Sunday in Sacrament just happened to be all about eternal families. I actually did really well all the way through till the very end. The closing hymn was 'Families Can Be Together Forever'. Suddenly, as we started singing the words to that song I came completely unglued. It took everything in me stay on that bench until the song ended and the closing prayer was said. Matt asked me if I was ok and all I could do was sob and shake my head that I wasn't. I think the ONLY thing that kept me seated was KNOWING that if I got up and ran from the Chapel at that moment that EVERYONE would see me and know what was wrong. And I just wasn't up for the, "I'm so sorry"......"Hang in there"......and "Are you ok?" comments. I WASN'T ok!! I was having a HUGE 'This sucks!!' moment and I was feeling sad, hurt, angry, and frustrated all at the same time!! As soon as the 'amen' was said for the closing prayer, I ran from the Chapel and hid in the private bathroon down the hall for a short while.......long enough to quit sobbing and pull myself somewhat together. All I wanted to do at that moment was to go home and curl up in bed and have a really great 'sobfest'. But since I had hardly been to our Ward in weeks and I was feeling very neglectful of my nursery calling, etc......I felt terribly guilty to leave and forced myself to stay and hang in there instead. Trust me.....at that moment......NURSERY was the LAST PLACE I wanted to be right then!! I had to FIGHT with everything in me to be there that day!

Then about 2 weeks ago, I guess, our Ward had their Primary Program.....which Matt and I were there for. The entire primary theme for the year was on being eternal families. And guess what song they sang? 'Families Can Be Together Forever'!!!! Seriously!? Luckily, I didn't come unglued that time. However, I managed to swallow the lump my throat and leaned over to whisper in Matt's ear that I think I hate that song right now! Matt and I then both proceeded to laugh quietly at our own private joke and my heart felt better! :)

Last weekend was General Conference, which was incredible!! The talks were all really great and the Spirit was strong. Matt and I were able to go downtown to the Conference Center for the Saturday Afternoon Session, which was very enjoyable. But I have to say that the talk that struck me the most, to tears actually....shocker, I know!!.....was the one given by Sister Ann M. Dibb, 2nd Counselor in the Young Women General Presidency, entitled: "Hold On". If you happened to miss the talk or want to read it again.......here is the link below. Click on it and it will take you directly to it.

http://lds.org/conference/talk/display/0,5232,23-1-1117-25,00.html

That talk struck me in so many ways...on so may different levels. It felt like it was written directly for me. There was so much there that I needed to hear right now! I was very grateful for her inspiring words and message!

It's also been interesting to me, and I couldn't help notice, that the same song keeps coming to my attention over and over again in the past few weeks as well. The song is 'How Firm a Foundation'. I've heard that song hundreds of times over the years, I'm sure. But only lately has it really struck me and I've really paid attention to the words as I've struggled with my own feelings of not feeling like my 'foundation' is as firm as it maybe should be. It started probably 3 weeks or so ago as I was on my lunch break during my shift that I work in the Oquirrh Mountain Temple on Fridays. I was reading from the Ensign.....the last Conference issue.....and the words to the song were quoted in one of the talks I was reading. They seemed to jump out at me and I remember feeling tears spring to my eyes as I read the words to Verse 3:

"Fear not, I am with thee; oh, be not dismayed,

For I am thy God and will still give thee aid.

I'll strengthen thee, help thee, and cause thee to stand,

Upheld by my righteous, upheld by my righteous,

Upheld by my righteous, omnipotent hand."

Those words really touched my heart on that day, as they still continue to do so everytime I hear that song now. I, literally, have heard that song now in almost every meeting I've been to since. It has made wonder...just a little....if maybe someone is trying to tell me something......:)

Yes, the last 2 months have been particularly difficult at times. But I will continue to remain steadfast and ever continuing to push forward. Even if I'm only hanging on by a very thin thread........I will still do my best to continue to 'hang in there'.

I truly love the Lord and I'm grateful for the knowledge of this most precious Gospel of Jesus Christ in my life. I truly would be lost without the comfort, hope, and peace that comes from it if we will allow it to. I have SO MUCH to be grateful for, in spite of all that I might be missing at times. I have so many great friends and family.....and each one of you touch my heart in so many tiny, little ways. Thanks so much for being a part of my life, and for allowing me to be a part of yours. If ever there is a time that I'm not as good of a friend as I should be, please be patient with me. I'm really trying hard! Sometimes it's just easy to forget for a little while and become caught up in what's going on with my life at the moment. I love you all and want you to know that, in spite of my struggles and my shortcomings and weaknesses, my testimony continues to grow stronger every day.

Thank you for taking the time to read this and for allowing me to share my thoughts and feelings with you so that I may grow stronger! :)

Adoption HELP!! (pretty please?!)

!!!!!HELP!!!!!!!

OK, friends and family!! I'm feeling a bit 'stuck in a rut' right now......and having some feelings of frustration and impatience with the adoption process. To clarify, I'm not really frustrated with the adoption process itself. I guess I'm feeling more helpless and frustrated in the 'unkown'....and I'm feeling like I need to do something again to be proactive in this process rather than 'just waiting'.

We received our approval with LDS Family Services on March 30, and now it's kind of just a 'waiting game' until we someday get that phone call and find out that we've been 'chosen' to be parents. In the meantime, it's very easy for one to drive themselves crazy thinking about it and wondering when it's going to finally happen. I normally 'choose' not to think about it so much.....for those very reasons. It's been easier for me, for the most part, to just throw myself into my everyday life and just do the things that I know I need to do right now. However, there are times when that is a bit easier said than done. I guess this is just another one of those times..............

I've been doing a bit of 'brain storming' the last few days and I feel that I've come to a decision......but I could use your help!

I've decided to create a letter of sorts introducing Matt and I and explaining a little about us and about the adoption process we have been going through. We've already created pass along cards a few months ago, too, and have passed them out to a lot people. I plan to include a few pass along cards with the letter and I've decided to send the information to all of the major hospitals that I can. My thought is that there are a lot of hospitals that have Women's Centers and OB/GYN Clinics with a lot of OB Doctors who may see babies being born with no homes to go to. What if some of those doctors had our information to know that they can contact us about possibly adopting one of them? It can't hurt, right? I've actually heard of couples who have adopted this way before.....

I'm making a list of all of the major hospitals I can think of in Utah. Since I have a lot of friends and family who live out of the state of Utah, I'm hoping that you will be willing to send me names of hospitals and/or mailing addresses that you know of in the states you live in. If you don't have time to look up mailing addresses, if you'll just send me the names of the hospitals, then I can look them up on the internet. You have no idea how much I will appreciate any help I can get! Like I said, I'm doing my best to try and stay proactive in this process and do all I can to help our chances of finding our children someday. Please find it in your hearts to help us! Any help that you can provide will be so greatly appreciated.......you have no idea!

I thank you in advance for your time and caring!!

Oh yeah! If you do wish to help us out and send us that information, please send it to me in an email through facebook (if you have an account. I do.).........or to the following email address:

mattanddarla@yahoo.com

Thanks again!! :)

Baca Family Videos

OK. I have been trying all day long to get these videos to upload through blogger, the way I usually post these. Unfortunately, I think the files are just too large so I couldn't get it done. Since I really, REALLY wanted these on my blog for the Grandparents to see the kids 'cause they're just so dang cute.......I ended up uploading them to YouTube (privately, of course!). Here are the links for the 2 videos. I hope you enjoy them!

This first video is of the Kennecott Wetlands Exhibit at Tracy Aviary in Liberty Park.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=n_0CShYn-Bk

&

This video is of us having a picnic lunch in Liberty Park after coming out of Tracy Aviary. Soon after we sat down, the seagulls came flocking and the kids had a ball feeding them!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AKk7JCQa_7s

Happy Birthday, Tylor!!

It's hard to believe that it's been that long ago, but 10 years ago today a sweet little baby boy was born to my sister and her husband about a year after they were married. Now it's been 10 years and he's growing up so much!

I just wanted to take the time to wish Tylor a very HAPPY 10th BIRTHDAY!! We hope you have a great one and wish we could be there with you! We sure love you and miss you tons!!

Happy, Happy Birthday Tylor!!!!!

Water Park at Liberty Park

There is a little water park at Liberty Park that kids can play in and run through. Of course, Pauline's boys LOVED IT!! They were all soaked to the bone by the time we went home.

You can see little Kayla here right in front. She actually didn't go into the water much, but she enjoyed running around and swinging, etc.

I didn't get much video on this one because my batteries in my camera ran out and I didn't have any extras with me at the time. But this will at least give you the general idea....

Liberty Park

July 13, 2009 -

Pauline and I took the kids downtown to the Tracy Aviary located in Liberty Park. I have to admit that in the 11 years that I've lived in Salt Lake......I have never been to the Tracy Aviary or to Liberty Park. It was pretty cool. We had a very enjoyable day!

I took some pictures and some videos of the kids so that those who don't live close by and get to see the kids very often can see them in action. Enjoy!

First, here are some pictures of the kids that were taken at the Tracy Aviary, which is basically a bird park. All kinds of different birds. It's not super huge, but it's pretty cool.

Here are the 3 handsome boys: Chayton, Tylor, and little Jorden

Here is adorable little Kayla

Here are some pictures of some of the birds we saw

Our Personal Liahona

"The words of Christ can be a personal Liahona for each of us, showing us the way. Let us not be slothful because of the easiness of the way. Let us in faith take the words of Christ into our minds and into our hearts as they are recorded in sacred scripture and as they are uttered by living prophets, seers, and revelators. Let us with faith and diligence feast upon the words of Christ, for the words of Christ will be our spiritual Liahona telling us all things what we should do."

--W. Rolfe Kerr, "The Words of Christ, Our Spiritual Liahona", Ensign, May 2004, 36

The Lenz Family Sealing

Once again, I'm behind in posting. :) This summer has been a little crazy busy. So I'm going to attempt to get updated in the next couple days. Here has been what's been going on with us in the last month and 1/2 or so........On July 11, 2009 my dear friend, Salina, was able to go to the Mount Timpanogos Temple with her family and have them all sealed together for eternity. Without getting too personal, let's just say that it was a great miracle to see the 2 older kids, Donovan and Nickelle, be able to join Salina, Andrew, and little Clarissa in the sealing room that day. Salina was married before and was having trouble getting the 'Ex' to consent to letting her have Donovan and Nickelle be sealed to them. Up until about the day before the sealing was to happen, she was heartbroken in thinking that she was just going to have to accept that the 2 older ones were not going to be able to join them. She and I had talked on more than one occasion about her frustrations and concerns with it, but then things got crazy busy and I didn't get a chance to talk to her again for a few days before the sealing.

As Matt and I sat in the Sealing Room and were able to be a part of this marvelous Event, I listened to the Sealer as he spoke to Salina and Andrew and somewhat reflected on how mine and Salina's friendship has grown. I was sitting pretty much next to where the Sealer was standing as he was speaking to Salina and Andrew, and I could see his clipboard with their information on it. It suddenly dawned on my that there were 3 children's names on that clipboard.....all 3 of Salina's children.....and I began to feel my heart beat faster. I started to get really excited for Salina, and was hoping that it meant what I thought it meant.

As the door opened and Donovan and Nickelle walked into the room, carrying little Clarissa....all 3 dressed in white....the dam of tears completely broke!! It didn't help that Salina was within eyeshot of me and looked directly at me as the 3 kids came in......and we both just started crying harder than we already were at that point. I knew as I watched that family receive the blessings of being sealed together for time AND eternity that the Lord was definitely mindful of Salina and all that she had been through to get there. He was obviously watching out for her and helped to soften her 'Ex's' heart so that it was possible that such a miracle should take place. I DEFINITELY witnessed a small miracle that day!!

Thanks so much for being my friend, Salina-girl, and for allowing me to share in such a special day with you! I love you and I'm so proud of you!

Mr. Magorium's Wonder Emporium

Matt and I watched the movie 'Mr. Magorium's Wonder Emporium' last night. What a cute movie! We both really enjoyed it. It's a wonderfully imaginative movie where nothing is impossible.

There was also something in the movie that Dustin Hoffman, who plays Mr. Magorium, said that really struck me and I ran to hurry and write it down. I think it's a really great quote to keep in mind as we are hurrying through our busy lives. I wanted to share it with you.

"Your life is an occasion. Rise to it."

-Mr. Magorium's Wonder Emporium-

Isn't that AWESOME!!?

Faith Implies Trust

"Faith implies a certain trust, even a reliance, upon the word of our Creator. If you should have doubting thoughts, remember the counsel given by President Stephen L. Richards, a former counselor in the First Presidency, who declared: “Just say to those skeptical, disturbing, rebellious thoughts, ‘I propose to stay with my faith, with the faith of my people. I know that happiness and contentment are there and I forbid you, agnostic, doubting thoughts, to destroy the house of my faith. I acknowledge that I do not understand the processes of creation, but I accept the fact of it. I grant that I cannot explain the miracles of the Bible, and I do not attempt to do so, but I accept God’s word. I wasn’t with Joseph, but I believe him. My faith did not come to me through science and I will not permit science to destroy it."

--President Thomas S. Monson, "Great Expectations", CES Fireside January 2009

We Are Somebody

"As children of God we are somebody. He will build us, mold us, and magnify us if we will but hold our heads up, our arms out, and walk with him. What a great blessing to be created in his image and know of our true potential in and through him! What a great blessing to know that in his strength we can do all things!"

--Marvin J. Ashton, "In His Strength", Ensign, Jul 1973, 24

Adoption Update

OK.......I know I need to update everyone on what happened with the adoption stuff last week. So here goes.....

I blogged about the little black baby boy that was supposed to be born at the end of this month. I was very torn over whether to pursue him or not. Well, I called and spoke with the birthmother's caseworker a little while after posting that blog entry and learned a little bit more about the situation. I found out that there were apparently some complications or something with the pregnancy, and the baby was actually to be born the NEXT DAY....so this past Friday. Wow! Talk about a quick decision, huh?

I was in tears with so many conflicting emotions. I really wanted to pursue him.....but there were so many red flags and warning bells going off in my head over the whole situation that I just didn't feel comfortable with pursuing it any further. Matt felt the same way. After talking it over together and praying about it, we decided not to pursue it. There were too many very serious complications and issues that we felt could come up in the future. Now, keep in mind, if we had felt strongly that that child was SUPPOSED to be in our family then we would have found a way to overcome the obstacles and make it work. But we didn't feel strongly about it, so that's what helped us make our decision. It was a tough, emotional decision....but we feel good about it.

Also, I blogged about the neighbor girl of some of Matt's work affiliates who is pregnant as well. We don't know anything more at this point. Our information was apparently forwarded to her and now we just wait.....and keep praying. If she doesn't pick us, then I know someone else will when the time is right. Until then, we'll keep hanging in there..........

Thanks so much for everyone's love and concern, and for your kind words of encouragement and advice!! We love you all and are very blessed to have you in our lives! :)

Oquirrh (pronounced 'o-ker') Mountain Temple

At the beginning of July, as I was getting ready to attend the Jordan River Temple with my good friend Salina as she went through for the first time, I suddenly realized that it was time to get my temple recommend renewed! Good thing I checked! I was able to go that next week and meet with the Bishop and, while I was in the interview with him, I expressed an interest to him in working in the new Oquirrh Mountain Temple. I told him that I had really enjoyed volunteering for the Open House.

I have felt for years that it would be really enjoyable to be able to work in the Temple....any one of them....but have never felt that I was quite in a position to be able to do so. Now I work at home and my schedule is, for the most part, pretty flexible. I also still have no children to juggle, either, so that makes it easier as well. I figured that if I'm going to do it, this would be the prime time for me to do so. The Bishop said he would submit my name and then we'd see.............

Well, I got a call last week from someone at the Temple and an appointment was set up for last night to meet with President Layton, the Temple President. I met with him last night and have now been called to serve as an Ordinance Worker in the Oquirrh Mountain Temple on Fridays, from 11:00 a.m. - 5:00 p.m. I will have training from 12:00 noon - 2:00 p.m. this coming Sunday in the Oquirrh Temple, and then another training from 12:00 noon - 2:00 p.m. the next Sunday at the Jordan River Temple. I will begin my first shift on Friday, August 28, the week after the Dedication and the Temple is officially open!

President Layton told me that I will probably be at different stations throughout the Temple during my shifts. He asked me during our meeting if I spoke any other languages. I told him that I don't really, but that I did live in Germany for almost 7 years. He then asked me if I thought I would be able to help someone in German if they gave me a card with the words to say. I told him I thought I probably could, so he marked that on his paperwork. I think that would be so neat to learn in German!! I have regretted for years not learning German while I lived in the country........

Anyway, I'm SO EXCITED!! The Jordan River Temple has always had a special significance to Matt and I because of Matt's family....and we were married there. However, as I have served in various positions in the Open House for the Oquirrh Mountain Temple, I have gained a new feeling of significance for this Temple. I feel that this Temple is MY Temple. This is the Temple in which my children will most likely some day all be sealed to Matt and I for eternity. I feel that this is the Temple that Matt and I will grow with over the years as we watch our family grow and the world around us change. I have grown to love this Temple already. I have truly appreciated having the opportunity to watch as it was being built, to be able to participate in the Open House, to be able to actually be in the Temple to attend the Temple Dedication in a couple weeks, and now to work in the Temple every week.

I'm really looking forward to this opportunity to serve in the House of the Lord!!

Live for Christ

I received this quote in one of my email inboxes a couple weeks ago. I wanted to share it with you, as well as include a link to the entire talk that the quote comes from. It's a pretty amazing talk in it's entirety, but there were a few things that really stood out to me the most.

The talk is split up into sections, and the first section that really stood out to me was the one on, "Christ Gave Us The Constitution". It was amazing to me to read through that section and reflect on the ways of the world, our Government, and the Constitution today. It's interesting (and often sad to me) that things that were said and even prophecied 25 years ago are surely coming to pass today. It breaks my heart and even makes me a bit angry when I see men today, our leaders....those who are supposed to be our examples....corrupting the Government and trying to take God out of the equation. I just don't understand why, when our entire nation was founded upon the principle of God. I hate watching men and women today being so easily persuaded to follow the evils of Satan.......

The second section that really stood out to me was the one on, "Our Gifts to Christ". The final story at the very end really touched my heart. Often, I try to remind myself that nothing I have belongs to me. Everything I have is a direct result of 'gifts' that God and Jesus Christ have given to me. I owe them EVERYTHING! I am forever in their debt and I try to remind myself to be thankful for everything that I have. Often, it's so easy to 'forget' to enjoy the blessings when we are wallowing in our own miseries and focusing on the things we DON'T have.

Anyway, here's the quote and the link. Enjoy!

"Some men are willing to die for their faith but will not fully live for it. Christ both lived and died for us. By walking in his steps and through his atonement we can gain the greatest gift of all--eternal life--which is that kind of life of the great Eternal One, our Father in heaven."

--Ezra Taft Benson, "Jesus Christ--Gifts and Expectations,", BYU Devotional 10 December 1974

A lot of mixed emotions............

I made a comment on Facebook a little while ago that really set some people's curiosity on fire, so I thought I would post a note to let everyone kind of know what's going on........and to ask for your help.

A couple of days ago, Matt got an email from the wife of someone he's affiliated with at work. Apparently, they have a neighbor who is pregnant and is looking at placing her baby with an adoptive couple in the near future. As you all know, Matt and I are not at all shy or quiet about telling people that we are looking to adopt......so EVERYONE that Matt is affiliated with at work knows we are adopting. :) This person's wife emailed Matt asking for our adoption information to pass along to this neighbor who is looking to become a birthmother. Matt emailed her back with our adoption blog information on Monday.........so now we wait and see if anything comes of it.

Then I got a phone call at home about 2 hours ago from Josh, our caseworker with LDS Family Services. He was calling to tell me about a case that came through their agency from another agency......a little 'black/hispanic' baby boy, due to be born on 08/27/2009. They are apparently having some trouble placing and finding adoptive parents for this little baby and as Josh read through the information he was given, he pulled our information and thought that we might be interested in contacting the other agency and pursuing it further. He emailed me the information he received, and as I read through it my heart began to ache. I have some reservations and some very real concerns about potential problems/complications, but I also feel strongly that Matt and I need to pray about this and see what we feel. At the moment, I have some very conflicting emotions.

My plea to you is to please include us in your prayers as we make a difficult decision. Pray for us to know what we should do, and that everything will work out for us in the Lord's way and in His timetable. If either of these children are meant to be in our family, please pray for us that everything will work out accordingly. Otherwise, please pray for us regardless so that we may be guided in such away that we will be able to find our future children............

I was so angry and hurt.....

I have to take a few minutes to write about something that makes me very angry and hurts me beyond words whenever I hear about it. Last night was no exception.........

Matt and I usually like to watch the 10:00 news at night before getting ready to go to bed, and it almost seems like most of the stories that are shared/told on the news are so depressing! I often wonder what has happened to society with so much anger, hurt, blood shed........needlessly being mean and hateful to each other. There have been many times that I've quit watching the news for awhile because I get so irritated watching. But yet I keep watching because I want to stay 'connected' to the world and know what's going on.

Last night as we were watching, one of the stories hurt me to the very core of my being and I found myself so angry and upset that all I could do was, first express my anger in a slightly 'louder than usual' voice to Matt and the TV, and then to sit quietly and cry about it....and stew about it until I went to bed. Matt was so sweet as to let me express my anger........and express some of his own. And then he allowed me to be quiet and cry for a few minutes before kneeling at my feet as I sat on the couch, wrapped his arms around me, put his head in my lap, and told me that I'll be a good Mom someday. My response was that I appreciated that he felt that way but that......If I'm going to be such a great Mom, then why I am I not able to do so when so many other HORRIBLE, HATEFUL people DELIBERATELY hurt their children, but are able to have them so freely and easily?!!!! I DON'T UNDERSTAND!!

Allow me to elaborate a little bit on the story from last night that affected me so deeply.......

The story was of a woman who has a young child, a little girl, who is currently up at Primary Children's Hospital fighting for her life because this woman mistreated her and severely injured her. The whole story made me angry, but what me angriest of all was that this woman (I can't even call her a mother) had previously been in trouble with the law, on more than one account, for mistreating and injuring her daughter in the past. The child had previously been taken AWAY from the woman and was placed in Foster Care for a time until it was felt that the woman was 'fit' to have the child back again. NOW..........the child may die or suffer severe problems for the rest of her life because her 'mother' hurt her AGAIN so severely this time that she's currently laying in a hospital bed fighting for her LIFE!!

It makes me so angry and quite often I cry when I hear of similar stories! Why? Why? WHY!!!? I don't UNDERSTAND!! It breaks my heart!! And for those of you who wonder why Matt and I decided against Foster Care for the moment..............THIS IS WHY!! Maybe I don't have enough faith or maybe I don't trust enough........but I would be SICK to return a child to a 'home' that I didn't honesly feel in my heart was a safe place for that child to grow, learn and feel love! But I can't make that decision.........it's up to the LAW and the STATE!! I'm afraid that I would make myself SICK worrying about the safety and welfare of those precious children. I'm not sure that, emotionally, I could handle it right now. Maybe it's selfish of me, but my fear and my emotions don't make me feel comfortable enough to go forward with Foster Care at the moment. Maybe someday in the future I'll be stronger.........

For now.......my heart hurts and I feel very angry towards those who are able to have children so freely and mistreat them. I cry now as I sit here writing this post. I pray so often to keep the anger and hurt feelings out of my heart...........and to keep looking forward with hope. But some days it's really hard to keep hanging on to that hope.................

I LOVE this song!!

OK............So I have to confess. I have been watching "The Bachelorette" this season........and I was pretty happy with Jillian's final decision. I've been rooting for Ed for quite awhile. I was sad when he left and happy when he came back...........and now I'm happy that he was finally the last man standing! I don't necessarily believe in finding 'true love' in reality shows on T.V.............but it's entertaining and fun to watch the 'love story' unfold. (Yes, I'm truly a 'hopeless romantic'! I admit it!)

Anyway, my TRUE reason for writing this post is because I absolutely fell in LOVE with the song they played at the end of the show as Ed was proposing and they were showing clips of Jillian and Ed's journey to get to the end. I recognized the voice singing the song, but I HAD to reassure myself that it was who I thought it was, and find out the name of the song. I went in search of it on the internet and found it.

I'm a fan of Martina McBride's, and I think she's got some really beautiful songs. This one is no exception!! Like I said, I fell in LOVE with it! Listen and enjoy! I've posted the video below. Remember, that you'll want to turn off the music playing at the bottom of my blog before starting the video. :)

And at the risk of sound completely sappy, corny, lovesick....or anything else ridiculous....this song really does make me think of my Matt. I sure love him and I feel very blessed to be married to such an incredible person. I'm very proud to call him 'mine' forever!

Martina McBride - I Just Call You Mine (Official Music Video) - The most popular videos are a click away

Thought for the Day - Love For God

"When we love the Lord, obedience ceases to be a burden. Obedience becomes a delight. When we love the Lord, we seek less for things that benefit us and turn our hearts toward things that will bless and uplift others."

-- Elder Joseph B. Wirthlin,"The Great Commandment"

If you're interested in reading the talk in it's entirety, click on the link below:

http//www.lds.org/conference/talk/display/0,5232,49-1-775-10,00.html

Thought for the Day - Choices

"Tomorrow’s blessings and opportunities depend on the choices we make today."

-- President James E Faust,"Choices"

This talk was written and given to the men, but I think we can apply this to all of our lives. I really enjoyed reading it and reminding myself to make good, positive choices everyday.

If you're interested in reading the entire talk that this quote came from, click on the link below:

http://library.lds.org/nxt/gateway.dll/Magazines/Ensign/2004.htm/ensign%20may%202004.htm/choices.htm

Another Haircut for Bailey!

Our little Bailey has been needing a haircut and groom for quite awhile now. We've been trying to get her in for an 'appointment' with our favorite grooming place for a few weeks, but haven't been able to get her in due to scheduling conflicts, etc, on both our parts and theirs. Anyway, we finally got her in on Saturday. Here are some pictures of before and after. What a difference! Isn't she simply ADORABLE!?