One more thing..............

This was also in our adoption manual that we received for the adoption classes, and I really liked it.

THE LEGACY OF AN ADOPTED CHILD

Once there were two women

Who never knew each other.

One you do not remember,

The other you call Mother.

Two different lives

Shaped to make your one,

One became your guiding star,

The other became your sun.

The first gave you Life,

the second taught you to live it.

The first gave you a need for love,

The second was there to give it.

One gave you a nationality,

The other gave you a name.

One gave you the seed of talent,

The other gave you aim.

One gave you emotions,

The other calmed your fears.

One saw your first sweet smile,

The other dried your tears.

One gave you up;

It was all that she could do.

The other prayed for a child,

And God led her straight to you.

And now you ask me through your tears,

The age-old question through the years;

Heredity or environment...which are you

the product of?

Neither, my darling, neither;

Just two different kinds of love.

-Author Unknown

From God's Arms to My Arms to Yours

There is a song that I have heard many, many times over the years that has always been one my favorites. But, strangely enough, it hasn't been until the last month or so that the words to the song have actually stood out to me and it suddently dawned on me what it's really about. Now I find myself listening to it over and over again, and it has taken on a completely new meaning for me. This song has become VERY dear to my heart and I wanted to share the words with you.

FROM GOD'S ARMS TO MY ARMS TO YOURS

By Michael McLean

So many wrong decisions in my past I'm not quite sure

If I can ever hope to trust my judgement anymore.

But lately I've been thinking, 'cause it's all I've had to do,

And in my heart I feel that I should give this child to you.

And maybe you can tell your baby,

When you love him so, that he's been loved before

By someone who delivered your son

From God's arms to my arms to yours.

If you choose to tell him and if he wants to know

How the one who gave him life could bear to let him go,

Just tell him there were sleepless nights

I prayed and paced the floors.

I know the only peace I'd find was if this child was yours.

And maybe you can tell your baby,

When you love him so, that he's been loved before

By someone who delivered your son

From God's arms to my arms to yours.

Now I know that you don't have to do this

But, could you kiss him once for me

The first time that he ties his shoes or falls and skins

his knee?

And could you hold him twice as long when he

makes his mistakes?

And tell him that he's not alone, sometimes that's all

it takes.

I know how much he'll ache.

This may not be the answer for another girl like me

And I'm not on a soapbox saying how we all should be.

I'm just trusting in my feelings and I'm trusting God

above

And I'm trusting you can give this baby both his

mother's love.

And maybe you can tell your baby

Wne you love him so, that he's been loved before

By someone who delivered your son

From God's arms to my arms to yours.

Adoption Update

I thought I would take a few minutes to update everyone on what's currently going on with the adoption process for us.

Last weekend, on Friday night and all day Saturday, we had adoption classes. I guess there were probably about 25-30 couples there, so there were quite a few people! We started at 6:00 p.m. on Friday night, the 18th, with a welcome and introductions, and an opening prayer. We then talked about pre-placement issues and preparation for adoption etc. It was all very interesting to hear, but I really enjoyed the adoptive parent panel the most that night. There were 2 couples who came in and sat on a panel in front of us for about an hour. Incidentally, the 2 couples are related..............the wife of the one couple and the husband of the other couple are brother and sister and both just happen to have fertility issues that have prevented them from getting pregnant so they've both adopted children. It was really great to be able to hear their stories about how they found their babies, and to hear their perspectives and their struggles as they went through the whole process. The one thing they really stressed was to not just sit and wait for the phone call, but to continue to live life and enjoy the time that we have together as a couple before the babies come. I think that Matt and I do pretty well with that. Another thing that was really stressed to us that night was to put out trust in the Lord and we will have 'our stories'. Both couples said that if we will do our part and then put our trust and faith in the Lord we will find our babies who are supposed to be a part of our families. I truly believe that! As you can imagine..............I cried through much of that evening!! :) Matt and I came away feeling very emotionally drained but very spiritually fed and uplifted...............and even more excited to continue with the adoption process.

Saturday morning, the 19th, started at 9:00 a.m. We received some more encouraging and helpful words about the adoption process and about how to make our adoption happen as smoothly as possible. They showed us a 10 minute DVD about a young woman who placed her baby for adoption with a couple. It really showed the love that the young woman had for that baby and how much it broke her heart to make the decision to give that baby more than she could give her at that time. Again, I was crying!

We had a pot luck lunch with everyone, and it was fun to sit and just talk with other couples who are feeling, struggling, and going through the same things that Matt and I are. I found myself realizing again that we are not alone, and that there are others out there who do understand. Sometimes it is really hard when you're struggling through a particularly hard day...........and you quite often find yourself feeling very alone when EVERYONE else around you is either pregnant or has several children. No one can TRULY understand the frustration, the hurt, and the sadness that you often feel when you're going through infertility issues. It was really great to be able to sit in that room and feel the hurt, the pain, the excitement, the fear, the tears running down my cheeks, the Spirit so strong in that room................and know that, for once, Matt and I weren't the only ones feeling it. Everyone else in that room was feeling the same things and I didn't have to feel stupid for crying about it!! Even the men cry!! :)

The part of the whole weekend that probably hit me the hardest and affected me very deeply was the Birth Parent Panel. And I haven't been able to get it out of my head since! They had 5 young girls come in and sit on a panel in front of us. 2 of the girls were 14 or 15, 1 of the girls was 20, and 2 of the girls were 24. Every single one of them have come from broken families where there was only their mothers to raise them and provide for them the best they could. None of the fathers were in the girls lives, and each one of them said how they hurt their whole lives because he wasn't a part of their lives and didn't care to be. Each girl was not active in the gospel at the time that she became pregnant, but each girl found themselves on their knees during the pregnancy crying and praying their hearts out to their Heavenly Father to help them make the right decision and give their baby more than they could give them. Every one of the girls said that they knew that they didn't want their baby to end up with only 1 parent like they had, and wanted their babies to have more than they had had in their lives. Each of those girls made probably one the absolute hardest decisions of their lives...........and one of the most selfless decisions, too! They love their babies enough to give them a better life than they could provide with a loving mother AND a father to nurture and raise the children in the Gospel. I felt so much love and admiration for those girls as I sat there and listened to each one, and watched each one of them still struggling to move on with their lives and live with the pain in their hearts. Each of the girls has since found a renewed faith and relationship with their Heavenly Father and have been able to finish school..................and some will go on to be married in the Temple and raise families of their own in the Gospel. Suddenly, those girls became more than someone who just made a 'mistake' and didn't want their baby so they 'gave it away', as the world so often sees them. Suddenly, the whole process took on so much more of an eternal perspective for me! I suddenly saw those girls through Christ's eyes. I suddenly saw each of them as daughters of our Heavenly Father who loves them so much and wants them to be happy and live good, productive lives!! I realized that those girls were instruments in an eternal plan to bring those children into the homes of waiting couples who aren't able to bring them into this world by themselves, for whatever reason.

I don't think I've ever really thought very much about it, but no longer do I have the misconception that those girls getting pregnant was just a 'mistake'. I truly believe that there is an eternal purpose in adoption, and that those girls are the keys to helping so many other couples to be able to have children of their own to raise and love in the Gospel. I believe that there was a plan that was laid out in the pre-existence that involved each of those girls, those babies, and the adoptive couples. I believe that we each probably made an agreement that this was the way that that child was supposed to end up in each of our homes. Matt and I can't wait to see what 'our story' will be! As you can imagine, that was an EXTREMELY emotional day for me! I cried through much of the day and the Spirit was so strong!!

I hope that throughout the coming months, years...........however long it takes us............that I can remain close to my Heavenly Father and put my trust in him to help me find my children, whether they be through natural means or through the adoption process. I feel more strongly than ever now that Matt and I haven't gone through this trial on 'accident', but that there is at least one child waiting right now to join our family and we just have to find him/her. I can't wait to meet that child, and I hope that I can put my trust and faith in Heavenly Father and be in tune enough to the Spirit so that I can be guided in the right direction. I find myself going to the book store these days and finding books that I can read about adoption to better help educate myself so that I will be ready. I keep thinking about our birth mother..............how special she is where ever she is. I don't know her yet................but I hope she knows how much I love her and how often I am brought to tears just thinking about her. I wonder where she is right now? Has she already begun the process? Or does she still have no idea what's coming yet? I find myself praying for her and asking Heavenly Father to watch over her and protect her in her time of need and uncertainty. I wish that I could be with her from the very beginning............from the day she finds out she's pregnant and starts to make one of the hardest decisions she'll ever have to make! I wish that I could take her in my arms and comfort her when she needs it..........give her a shoulder to cry on when she needs it. I hope she knows or comes to realize how special she is, and how excited Matt and I are to have her become a part of our lives and join our family someday. Our beautiful birthmother whereever you are.................we love you and we pray for you every day!!

Chaos or Order

I just recently finished reading a book by Jeff Downs, an LDS Author. I've actually recently read a couple of his books and I've enjoyed them quite a bit. They are all just fun, really fast reads. At the end of the book, "Chaos", there is a quote that I absolutely loved when I read it so I thought I would share it with you.

"Chaos or order. It's all the same when you trust in the Lord."

That really struck me because, quite often, I feel like my life is a little chaotic with everything going on, especially with the adoption process. I find that I don't feel that I have much control over the whole baby issue, although the adoption process has helped to get some of that control back again. So this quote really stuck with me and meant a lot to me when I read it!

Some Inspiring Words

Anyone who knows me, knows that I love inspiring quotes and stories. I also love to read! So whenever I'm reading something that really stands out to me I usually have to write it down. I have a couple of 'quote books' that I've compiled tons of quotes in throughout the years. Here are a couple more that I've come across recently that I've really liked and have taken to heart. This first one is out of our adoption manual notebook that we got from the adoption agency about 2 or 3 weeks ago, which is full of so many great articles, quotes, etc that all have to do with trials and adversity, and adoption.

HUT IS ON FIRE

The only survivor of a shipwreck was washed up on a small, uninhabited island. He prayed feverishly for God to rescue him, and every day he scanned the horizon for help, but none seemed forthcoming. Exhausted, he eventually managed to build a little hut out of driftwood to protect himself from the elements, and to store his few possessions.

One day, after scavenging for food, he arrived home to find his little hut in flames, with smoke rolling up to the sky. The worst had happened and everything was lost. He was stunned with disbelief, grief, and anger. "God, how could you do this to me" he cried.

Early the next day he was awakened by the sound of a ship that was approaching the island. It had come to rescue him. "How did you know that I was here?" asked the weary man of his rescuers. "We saw your smoke signals," they replied.

It's easy to get discouraged when things are going bad, but we shouldn't lose heart, because God is at work in our lives, even in the midst of pain and suffering. Remember that, the next time your little hut seems to be burning to the ground. It just may be a smoke signal that summons the grace of God.

When I read this, it really hit home for me! I hope it helps to inspire someone else as much as it did me...........................

The Adventures of Matt & Darla

I love pictures! I feel that pictures are a really great way to of helping to tell a person's story. This is the reason I've posted so many pictures on our blog....................and will continue to do so over the years.

As you can probably tell from the many pictures I've already posted previously, Matt and I LOVE to travel! It's one of our very favorite things that we enjoy doing together. As I've mentioned before, I grew up in the military so I was able to do A LOT of traveling with my family. Some of my absolute favorite memories that I have growing up are of the many trips that my family took together. We lived a large portion of my life overseas in Germany so we took full advantage of being there and saw as much as we possibly could. I don't think my parents will ever know how truly grateful I am to them for allowing my sisters and I to see and explore so much of this beautiful world we live in. They truly helped to instill in us a love for all of the many different cultures in this world. I hope that someday, even after Matt and I finally find our children, that we can continue to travel and give our children the opportunity to learn and explore other cultures and parts of the world, just as we both did when we were growing up.

I thought I would post some pictures here to show some of the many adventures that Matt and I have been on together over the past 5 years....................

In June of 2004, Matt and I went to visit some friends of ours who were living in California at the time. It was a quicker trip......just for a few days over an extended weekend. But we had a good time. We were able to go to Disneyland.........which is always fun! This picture is of Matt and I as we were going into the "It's a Small World" ride.

This was obviously taken on one of the many beaches in the LA area of California on that same trip. I absolutely LOVE the mountains and beauty of Utah...............but I do miss the beaches!

We also enjoy camping in the summertime. These pictures were taken in August of 2004 on a camping trip that we had taken with the Nelson Family.

In 2005, we took a break and didn't really travel much except for maybe some day trips really close to home. We moved into our house in October of 2004 so we were trying to get adjusted to that and money was a little tighter with making that happen.

In March of 2006, we went back to South Carolina to visit my family. Myrtle Beach is about 2-3 hours away from my family, so we stayed in a condo on the beach thanks to my mother-in-law's timeshares through Marriott. My parents and little sister, Tammy, came and stayed with us for a few days and we explored Myrtle Beach. These three pictures of the shark, the jelly fish, and the sting ray were all taken at Ripley's Believe It or Not Aquarium. It was VERY COOL! The aquarium literally surrounded us on all sides and top and bottom. It was like we were walking through a clear tube and all of the fish, etc, were all swimming around us and over us. It really gave the feel of actually being the ocean with them all.

Here are some more pictures that we took in Myrtle Beach..............some pretty famous places!

We did eat at at the famous Jimmy Buffett's Margaritaville, the one that he sings about in the song, "Margaritaville". It was pretty cool!

In December of 2006, we went back to South Carolina again to visit my family and surprised my Mom for Christmas. My sister, Tammy, helped us plan it, etc. Along the way, my Dad figured out that we were coming...........but we were still able to surprise my Mom! Matt and I try to get back to see my family as often as possible but, unfortunately, we don't get back nearly as often as we would like to.

At the end of February, beginning of March of 2007, Matt and I went on our first cruise. It was AWESOME!! We had the time of our lives! We got more rest/sleep that week than we had had in a long time and truly enjoyed being pampered and living a dream!! Every year, Matt's work goes on a trip that all of their contractors and employees are able to go on if they are able to and would like to. They always go right around the beginning of the year, during their 'off' season when they're not busy. Every other year is a cruise, and the alternating year is what they call a 'land cruise', which just means that everyone goes to a really nice resort somewhere and stays for a week. The Harward Brothers sure know how to travel....................This picture is of the ship we were on that week. It was HUGE and very beautiful! There were about 115 of us that went on that trip, just in our group alone. We had a blast getting to know everyone and making new friends! It was a very fun group to travel with.................

Our first stop on the cruise was at Half Moon Cay (pronouced like 'key'), in the Bahamas. This is a picture of Matt on the beach in Half Moon Cay.



This is another picture of the beach at Half Moon Cay. This beach/island is privately owned by the cruiseline, Holland America.

Our 2nd stop was in Aruba, which was not at all what I had pictured it to be in my head! I had pictured very lush, green, and tropical. Nope! Aruba is desert. It's very pretty, but very dry and desert. This is a picture of us standing up on the deck of the ship, with Aruba in the background.

This is a shot of us in Curacao. I had never heard of Curacao (pronounced like 'keraso') before this trip. I loved all of the very bright, colorful buildings!

The bright, colorful buildings along the shoreline in Curacao.

Here is a cool shot that one of our friends took of us kickin' back and relaxing on the deck of the ship one of our first days on the cruise. This is also a picture of one of the many GORGEOUS sunsets that got to enjoy while on the cruise as well!

In January of this year, 2008, we had the opportunity to go to Hawaii for a week with Matt's work. Naturally, we jumped on it and went. Again, it was AWESOME!! We had so much fun!!! I LOVE Hawaii! That is truly one of the most beautiful places I've ever been! I fell in love with it from the moment we walked off the plane and didn't want to come home when the week was over! These are some pictures that were taken of the view from our balcony in the resort we stayed in.

This was the resort we stayed in on Oahu. It was GORGEOUS!!! Like I said, the Harward Brothers really know now to go on vacation............................

The resort had some hammocks tied up in some palm trees down by the beach. It was so relaxing to go down and lay in the hammock with the light breeze that was constantly blowing and listen to the waves as they crashed up on the shore. Matt and I took a few naps in the hammock! Very enjoyable!!

We spent a day at the Polynesian Culture Center in Laie, Hawaii. No doubt about it, the Polynesian Culture is absolutely one of my all time favorites!! I am fascinated by it and I think the traditions and the people are beautiful!!

Here are some pictures of Matt and I in Hawaii.

Pali Lookout in Honolulu.

Waikiki Beach in Honolulu.
Diamond Head is in the background.




And, finally, in March of this year we also spent a week in Williamsburg, Virginia. Since Washington D.C. was only about 2 hours away, I HAD to take Matt to see it since he's never been before. So we spent a day in our Nation's Capital, which was a lot of fun!

The Lincoln Memorial in Washington D.C.

The Washington Monument.

The picture to the left is Matt and I in Washington D.C. at the top of the Lincoln Memorial. It was raining at the time.

To the right, is Matt and I in Jamestown, Virginia.

Trixie & Bailey

This is Trixie. We adopted Trixie about 3 years ago, when she was just a little pup. We didn't actually think she'd be as big as she is, but she just kind of blew up! She is the sweetest, most lovable dog!! And very smart, too!! She is a Border Collie/Boxer/AustraliShepherd mix and, as you can see, absolutely GORGEOUS!!

This is our little Bailey. We got her about 3 1/2 years ago, shortly after we moved into our house. She is a full blood, 16 line champion Shih Tzu that someone actually just gave us. She is incredibly sweet and lovable, too! She loves to cuddle!


So these are our 'girls'! They are seriously like our children! And they also LOVE children, too! We love them to pieces and even though they can get in trouble sometimes we would be devastated if anything ever happened to them.

Pictures

This is a picture of our house. We've been in our house about 4 1/2 years now............and we love it!! We live in a really great neighborhood and have an AWESOME ward at church! The other picture is taken of the mountains from our house.

We got more snow this year than I've seen in a very long time!! It was fun at first...............now I'm just ready to be done with it! I'm very ready for SUMMER!!

We Won! We Won!

So.............Matt did get to play his first softball game tonight. It was FREEZING COLD and even snowed on us while they were playing....................but it was still fun. The guys started out trailing the other team by a few points throughout the whole game..................until the last few minutes. They managed to pull ahead and beat the other team! They were pretty happy..........as you can imagine!

Bummer!

So we're a little bummed today.................we were supposed to start playing softball but the weather here in Utah was not cooperating!! Yesterday was absolutely beautiful outside and was about 70 degrees. But today we've dropped back down to about 40 degrees and are actually getting some more snow! Needless to say, our game was canceled. It's APRIL!! Give us a break! I'm so done with the snow this winter............I need SUNSHINE and warmth!!

Anyway, Matt and I are now playing softball on Tueday and Wednesday nights from now until about the middle of June. My work is playing on Tuesdays and Matt's work is playing on Wednesdays. My work is co-ed so Matt gets to play with me................his isn't co-ed so I get to go and watch and cheer him and the guys on. I enjoy it...............we're looking forward to it. Hopefully, the weather will cooperate tomorrow and he'll actually get to play his first game! We'll see.......................

George Washington

While Matt and I were in Williamsburg, Virginia visiting for a week at the beginning of March we saw so much great American history! Growing up in the military my whole life, I definitely developed a very strong sense of pride and appreciation for our beautiful country! I absolutely admire and appreciate those men and women who are out serving our country everyday.........putting their lives on the line to fight for our freedoms and all of the many luxuries we all enjoy here in our Beautiful Nation!

While we were in one of the little souvenir shops in Yorktown, I happened to see this T-shirt as I was leaving the store. I know...........those little shops always have T-shirts, etc! But what was written on this particular T-shirt caught my attention and I HAD to write it down!! I LOVE this quote by our former President, George Washington!! Matt and I were able to visit George Washington's Mansion on our way to Washington D.C. another day and we really learned a lot more about him. What a truly great man............

"Do not let anyone claim to be a true American if they attempt to remove religion from politics."

-General George Washington-