A lot of mixed emotions............

I made a comment on Facebook a little while ago that really set some people's curiosity on fire, so I thought I would post a note to let everyone kind of know what's going on........and to ask for your help.

A couple of days ago, Matt got an email from the wife of someone he's affiliated with at work. Apparently, they have a neighbor who is pregnant and is looking at placing her baby with an adoptive couple in the near future. As you all know, Matt and I are not at all shy or quiet about telling people that we are looking to adopt......so EVERYONE that Matt is affiliated with at work knows we are adopting. :) This person's wife emailed Matt asking for our adoption information to pass along to this neighbor who is looking to become a birthmother. Matt emailed her back with our adoption blog information on Monday.........so now we wait and see if anything comes of it.

Then I got a phone call at home about 2 hours ago from Josh, our caseworker with LDS Family Services. He was calling to tell me about a case that came through their agency from another agency......a little 'black/hispanic' baby boy, due to be born on 08/27/2009. They are apparently having some trouble placing and finding adoptive parents for this little baby and as Josh read through the information he was given, he pulled our information and thought that we might be interested in contacting the other agency and pursuing it further. He emailed me the information he received, and as I read through it my heart began to ache. I have some reservations and some very real concerns about potential problems/complications, but I also feel strongly that Matt and I need to pray about this and see what we feel. At the moment, I have some very conflicting emotions.

My plea to you is to please include us in your prayers as we make a difficult decision. Pray for us to know what we should do, and that everything will work out for us in the Lord's way and in His timetable. If either of these children are meant to be in our family, please pray for us that everything will work out accordingly. Otherwise, please pray for us regardless so that we may be guided in such away that we will be able to find our future children............

I was so angry and hurt.....

I have to take a few minutes to write about something that makes me very angry and hurts me beyond words whenever I hear about it. Last night was no exception.........

Matt and I usually like to watch the 10:00 news at night before getting ready to go to bed, and it almost seems like most of the stories that are shared/told on the news are so depressing! I often wonder what has happened to society with so much anger, hurt, blood shed........needlessly being mean and hateful to each other. There have been many times that I've quit watching the news for awhile because I get so irritated watching. But yet I keep watching because I want to stay 'connected' to the world and know what's going on.

Last night as we were watching, one of the stories hurt me to the very core of my being and I found myself so angry and upset that all I could do was, first express my anger in a slightly 'louder than usual' voice to Matt and the TV, and then to sit quietly and cry about it....and stew about it until I went to bed. Matt was so sweet as to let me express my anger........and express some of his own. And then he allowed me to be quiet and cry for a few minutes before kneeling at my feet as I sat on the couch, wrapped his arms around me, put his head in my lap, and told me that I'll be a good Mom someday. My response was that I appreciated that he felt that way but that......If I'm going to be such a great Mom, then why I am I not able to do so when so many other HORRIBLE, HATEFUL people DELIBERATELY hurt their children, but are able to have them so freely and easily?!!!! I DON'T UNDERSTAND!!

Allow me to elaborate a little bit on the story from last night that affected me so deeply.......

The story was of a woman who has a young child, a little girl, who is currently up at Primary Children's Hospital fighting for her life because this woman mistreated her and severely injured her. The whole story made me angry, but what me angriest of all was that this woman (I can't even call her a mother) had previously been in trouble with the law, on more than one account, for mistreating and injuring her daughter in the past. The child had previously been taken AWAY from the woman and was placed in Foster Care for a time until it was felt that the woman was 'fit' to have the child back again. NOW..........the child may die or suffer severe problems for the rest of her life because her 'mother' hurt her AGAIN so severely this time that she's currently laying in a hospital bed fighting for her LIFE!!

It makes me so angry and quite often I cry when I hear of similar stories! Why? Why? WHY!!!? I don't UNDERSTAND!! It breaks my heart!! And for those of you who wonder why Matt and I decided against Foster Care for the moment..............THIS IS WHY!! Maybe I don't have enough faith or maybe I don't trust enough........but I would be SICK to return a child to a 'home' that I didn't honesly feel in my heart was a safe place for that child to grow, learn and feel love! But I can't make that decision.........it's up to the LAW and the STATE!! I'm afraid that I would make myself SICK worrying about the safety and welfare of those precious children. I'm not sure that, emotionally, I could handle it right now. Maybe it's selfish of me, but my fear and my emotions don't make me feel comfortable enough to go forward with Foster Care at the moment. Maybe someday in the future I'll be stronger.........

For now.......my heart hurts and I feel very angry towards those who are able to have children so freely and mistreat them. I cry now as I sit here writing this post. I pray so often to keep the anger and hurt feelings out of my heart...........and to keep looking forward with hope. But some days it's really hard to keep hanging on to that hope.................

I LOVE this song!!

OK............So I have to confess. I have been watching "The Bachelorette" this season........and I was pretty happy with Jillian's final decision. I've been rooting for Ed for quite awhile. I was sad when he left and happy when he came back...........and now I'm happy that he was finally the last man standing! I don't necessarily believe in finding 'true love' in reality shows on T.V.............but it's entertaining and fun to watch the 'love story' unfold. (Yes, I'm truly a 'hopeless romantic'! I admit it!)

Anyway, my TRUE reason for writing this post is because I absolutely fell in LOVE with the song they played at the end of the show as Ed was proposing and they were showing clips of Jillian and Ed's journey to get to the end. I recognized the voice singing the song, but I HAD to reassure myself that it was who I thought it was, and find out the name of the song. I went in search of it on the internet and found it.

I'm a fan of Martina McBride's, and I think she's got some really beautiful songs. This one is no exception!! Like I said, I fell in LOVE with it! Listen and enjoy! I've posted the video below. Remember, that you'll want to turn off the music playing at the bottom of my blog before starting the video. :)

And at the risk of sound completely sappy, corny, lovesick....or anything else ridiculous....this song really does make me think of my Matt. I sure love him and I feel very blessed to be married to such an incredible person. I'm very proud to call him 'mine' forever!

Martina McBride - I Just Call You Mine (Official Music Video) - The most popular videos are a click away

Thought for the Day - Love For God

"When we love the Lord, obedience ceases to be a burden. Obedience becomes a delight. When we love the Lord, we seek less for things that benefit us and turn our hearts toward things that will bless and uplift others."

-- Elder Joseph B. Wirthlin,"The Great Commandment"

If you're interested in reading the talk in it's entirety, click on the link below:

http//www.lds.org/conference/talk/display/0,5232,49-1-775-10,00.html

Thought for the Day - Choices

"Tomorrow’s blessings and opportunities depend on the choices we make today."

-- President James E Faust,"Choices"

This talk was written and given to the men, but I think we can apply this to all of our lives. I really enjoyed reading it and reminding myself to make good, positive choices everyday.

If you're interested in reading the entire talk that this quote came from, click on the link below:

http://library.lds.org/nxt/gateway.dll/Magazines/Ensign/2004.htm/ensign%20may%202004.htm/choices.htm

Another Haircut for Bailey!

Our little Bailey has been needing a haircut and groom for quite awhile now. We've been trying to get her in for an 'appointment' with our favorite grooming place for a few weeks, but haven't been able to get her in due to scheduling conflicts, etc, on both our parts and theirs. Anyway, we finally got her in on Saturday. Here are some pictures of before and after. What a difference! Isn't she simply ADORABLE!?

Happy 4th of July!

We just wanted to wish everyone a very happy and safe 4th of July! We love you all and feel very blessed to call you friends and have you in our lives!

Congratulations, Salina!

Last night I had the privilege of attending the Jordan River Temple to do a session and be there to share in the experience as my good friend, Salina, went through and received those sacred blessings for the first time for herself. I was very touched to see her and Andrew together in the Temple for the first time, and couldn't help notice the special spirit and the difference it's already making in their lives. I know that it's been a long, hard road at times to get there, and I'm really proud of Salina! I look forward to being there next week at the Mt. Timpanogos Temple to celebrate as she and Andrew are sealed together with their family for time and all eternity! I love you Salina, and I'm blessed to have you in my life! :)

Oakley Rodeo

Matt and I have several friends whose families all go up to the Oakley Rodeo every year as a tradition, and we are just lucky enough to get invited to go. 2 years ago we went with our friends Ryan and Trisha and their family.........last year we didn't go for whatever reason.........and this year we went up with our friends Mike and Heather and their friends and family on Wednesday night, July 1. It takes about an hour to drive up to Oakley and it's the biggest and best rodeo in Utah. It's a lot of fun and amazing to watch the talent of some of the riders and the animals!

Anyway, here are some pictures we took that night. I know that my family, in particular, will enjoy seeing the pictures! We sure love you guys and miss you! Wish you could be here to go with us! And thanks to the Biesinger Family for welcoming us into their family and friends and inviting us to go with them...............we sure are glad to have you guys in our lives! :)

Chevy Avalanche

OK.........So I blogged back in February that we bought a Chevy Avalanche and it's taken me this long to finally get around to posting pictures of it. So here goes...........

Here are pictures of our beloved Chevy Avalanche that my cute husband STILL thanks me for on an almost daily basis. He LOVES this truck!! I'm glad that we were able to get it, and that he's so happy with it. I must confess that I've also fallen in love with it a little bit, too. :)

It's a 'mean', 'tough' looking truck......but it rides SO SMOOTHLY and COMFORTABLE! I really love the versatility of it and how much room it has as well.



Here are some interior shots as well.